Weather

by Jenny Offill

But how to categorize this elderly gentleman who keeps asking me to give him the password for his own email?

One good thing about being addicted to sleeping pills is that they don’t call it “addicted”; they call it “habituated.”

Young person worry: What if nothing I do matters? Old person worry: What if everything I do does?

“What if I sold my soul to the devil when I was a kid?”

Q: What is the philosophy of late capitalism? A: Two hikers see a hungry bear on the trail ahead of them. One of them takes out his running shoes and puts them on. “You can’t outrun a bear,” the other whispers. “I just have to outrun you,” he says.

the only reason we think humans are the height of evolution is that we have chosen to privilege certain things above other things.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t seem to stop making bad decisions.

So okay, no Klonopin. A walk in the park maybe. But the forecast tomorrow is for rain. Heavy winds too.

“Should we get a gun?” Ben asks. But it’s America. You don’t even get on the news if you shoot less than three people.

She gave us a formula: suffering = pain + resistance.

But still, everyone I know is trying to sleep less. Insomnia as a badge of honor. Proof that you are paying attention.

Is it the amount or the frequency of these thoughts that causes concern? Do these thoughts cause marked distress? Do these thoughts significantly interfere with your normal routine?

It’s raining. The bus is full. It’s reached that density where being seated feels like a form of guilt.

It is important to remember that emotional pain comes in waves. Remind yourself that there will be a pause between the waves.

Finally, he manages to turn around and look straight at the demon. “Why are you chasing me?” he asks it. The demon says, “I don’t know. It’s your dream.”