Troy: The Greek Myths Reimagined (Stephen Fry's Great Mythology #3)

by Stephen Fry

Myrtilus went to claim what he thought was his just reward—a night with Hippodamia—but she ran complaining to Pelops, who hurled Myrtilus off a cliff into the sea. As the drowning Myrtilus struggled in the water, he cursed Pelops and all his descendants.

Heracles listened to Laomedon’s self-pitying and largely fabricated version of the events leading up to Hesione’s sacrifice.

Some are born with a beauty that seems to turn people mad. Fortunately there are very few of us like that, but our power can be unsettling and even eruptive.

😭😂😭😂

“He can hardly dare to suggest anything if you thunder at him like that,” said Odysseus. “Either you want him to speak or you want to terrify him into silence. You can’t have both.”

Given the intervention of the gods and other magical and supernatural happenings, I have—as mentioned in the Introduction that you so wisely skipped—thought it best to tell the story of the war and its aftermath without attempting to dot every sequential iota or cross every chronological tau.

We know how wars that each side believed would soon be decided can stretch out over months and years. The Greeks and Trojans were perhaps the first to discover this unhappy truth.

“Hear me proclaim this, you loathsome turd from the ass of Typhon.

“We’ll spare your life, I promise,” hissed Odysseus. “Only speak quickly. And quietly. I have shaky hands and this blade against your throat might just slip and find its way into your windpipe if you aren’t quick, clear, and concise.”

Agamemnon heaved the gusty sigh of one much put upon by the weight of office, the malice of chance, and the endless incompetence of underlings.

How strange is our mortal zest for fame. Perhaps it is the only way humans can be gods. We achieve immortality not through ambrosia and ichor but through history and reputation.

“What did we see last night?” he asked. “It wasn’t warfare. It was madness. Deception, savagery, dishonor, and disgrace. What have the mortals become?” “Terrible, isn’t it? Who do they think they are—gods?” “There’s a time for humor, Hermes, and this isn’t it,” said Apollo.