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Without turning around, he says, “You’ll always be my Green.” And with that, he’s out of the door, leaving trails of blood in his wake.
Xander is the fire and I’m the gasoline waiting to burn. He’s the ocean in his eyes and all I want to do is drown. Maybe never return.
“What others?” He brushes his lips against mine. “You’re my first, Green.”
Being with Xander is like finally finding a missing piece of myself and slowly sewing it back in place.
“You never told me your favourite flavour.” He speaks around my fingers, “You.”
Hope is a dangerous thing; it makes you believe in things that might never exist.
she ran to me and said these exact words, ‘You said to tell you if I need anything, and I do. Whatever you have to give me, give it to Xan. He needs help as much as I do; he’s just too proud to admit it. So don’t give up on him. One day he’ll look back and thank you for it and I will, too.’”
DNA doesn’t make you a mother, it makes you a vessel.”
now, I realise I was emotionally abused by this woman. Physical abuse is nothing compared to the scars she’s left in my soul, scars it will take me a long time to heal. But I’ll get there. I’ll build back my life, and she won’t be a part of it.
I’ve never felt freer than when I’m held down by him.
“From now on, you’ll be hearing it the entire fucking time. You’re mine, Green, and I’ll protect you with my life.” “I’ll protect you, too.” “Is that so? From who?” “From yourself. From the world. From anyone who tries to harm you.” “So you’re like my knight now?”
I'll heal, like I'm sure you will. I won't fix you and you won't fix me. We’ll just hug each other like we used to do in the past. If Samantha stirs any shit up, I'll kiss you in front of the world and shout that you're mine, their judgement be damned. The universe doesn't matter, Green, you do. Then. Now. Always.
In the spiritual trip I took to Switzerland last year, a Buddhist monk told me that souls are attracted to each other. Now, I know why. Xander’s soul completes mine. Life without him has no meaning.
“You have no idea how much I missed you.” “And you have no idea how much I love you.”
“I love you, Green. I’m in love with you. It probably began that day you hugged me and told me you’d never let me go. It’s only heightened since then, and I might have hated you for it over the years, but I never once stopped loving you.”
He eats me like a hungry predator and I’m his poor, willing prey.
