Edin (Monstrous, #2)

by Lily Mayne

“That makes me happy, josdo,” Edin murmured, wrapping his big arms tight around me. I felt his jutting cheekbone rest against the top of my head, rubbing a little. “That I can be this for you. That I soothe you.” He paused. “You soothe me too. The restless part of me that has been there since my family was… Since I’ve been alone. You make me feel like I can settle again.”

Edin’s breath caught, tension creeping through his body before he tightened his arms around me. “Do you?” he asked in a low, uncharacteristically vulnerable voice. “Do you have to go back, Hunter?” I heard him swallow. “Would you not stay with me instead?” Oh fuck. Pure longing pounded through me like a drumbeat—stay with Edin, stay with Edin. I wanted to say yes. So badly. But everything was a confused tangle in my head. Charlie. The military. My responsibilities. Shit, my entire life was tied up in the military. Could I really walk away from it all?

“What will make you happy, Hunter?” You. You make me happy. I opened my mouth to say it, but the words got stuck at first, feeling so significant that my heart started racing. I pushed through the lump in my throat that was blocking them. “You do, scratch,” I said, voice raspy with something hot that was filling up my chest. “Enough to stay out here?” he asked, tentative and soft, like he was being careful not to come across as forceful or imposing. “Yes,” I answered without thinking, gripping his sides harder, and something squeezed tight inside me at the admission.

“I like you with him. You smile more.” My face went hot. When I rolled my eyes, Charlie continued. “You do. You’re happier than I’ve seen you in a long time. Maybe ever.” He nudged me with his elbow. “You romantic sap.”

The moment we got into our room and Edin shut the door behind us, I spun to face him. “I’m staying,” I told him, voice a little shaky with nerves. Edin’s big body went still. “Staying?” I nodded. “I’m not going back. I want to stay.” I swallowed. “With you.”

“You’re what I’m not willing to give up.”

“You have decided not to go back.” I smiled against his chest. “Sorry, scratch. You’re stuck with me.” He chuckled. “It’s what I want more than anything.” My heart melted. “Me too.”

“You love it, josdo,” I rumbled with a grin, expecting Hunter to protest half-heartedly, like he normally did, pretending he didn’t enjoy me bossing him around. He didn’t, though. Instead, his throat bobbed as he swallowed, fingers twisting anxiously in my hair. “Yeah. I do,” he rasped, voice hoarse. He swallowed again, and his face went pink with an endearing flush. “And you. As well.” I cocked my head. “And me?” Another nervous bob of his throat. He parted his lips to speak, then closed them again, then parted them. “I love you,” he said in a rush, the words running together, making me take a second to process them.

It was knowing that the pain of losing him, when it did happen, was worth the time that would precede it. Because it would happen; I would outlive him, as much as the thought filled me with bone-crushing despair. But in some ways, I felt like that knowledge made me love him even more.

“And I love you, my Hunter,” I said. I pulled him closer and kissed him, deep and hard, showing him how much I meant it.

“So, you love me enough to stay out here with me, josdo?” I asked, reaching down and curving my hand over his firm backside. “Eating your mushed up grass compost food out here in the Wastes?” Hunter burst out laughing, the sound deep and raspy. “You don’t eat the compost, scratch.” His cheeks were still flushed, and his amber eyes gleamed with the same giddy joy that was bubbling inside me. “But yes. I love you enough to stay out here.” He tightened his arms around my neck. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”