Making gender matters even worse, men’s success is viewed not just in absolute terms, but often in comparison to their wives’. The image of a happy couple still includes a husband who is more professionally successful than the wife. If the reverse occurs, it’s perceived as threatening to the marriage. People frequently pull me aside to ask sympathetically, “How is Dave? Is he okay with, you know, all your [whispering] success?” Dave is far more self-confident than I am, and given his own professional success, these comments are easy for him to brush off. More and more men will have to do the
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