Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead

by Sheryl Sandberg

Women are not less ambitious than men, they insist, but more enlightened with different and more meaningful goals.

Taking initiative pays off. It is hard to visualize someone as a leader if she is always waiting to be told what to do.

The ability to learn is the most important quality a leader can have.”13

women have to learn to keep their hands up, because when they lower them, even managers with the best intentions might not notice.

Instead of blaming women for not negotiating more, we need to recognize that women often have good cause to be reluctant to advocate for their own interests because doing so can easily backfire.15

An internal report at Hewlett-Packard revealed that women only apply for open jobs if they think they meet 100 percent of the criteria listed. Men apply if they think they meet 60 percent of the requirements.7 This difference has a huge ripple effect. Women need to shift from thinking “I’m not ready to do that” to thinking “I want to do that—and I’ll learn by doing it.”

figure out what I wanted to do before I went to see the people who had the ability to hire me.

The ability to listen is as important as the ability to speak.

feedback, like truth, is not absolute.

Feedback is an opinion, grounded in observations and experiences, which allows us to know what impression we make on others. The information is revealing and potentially uncomfortable, which is why all of us would rather offer feedback to those who welcome it.

the upside of painful knowledge is so much greater than the downside of blissful ignorance.

When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated, and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home.

We cannot change what we are unaware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.

“Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence.”

A feminist is someone who believes in social, political, and economic equality of the sexes”—

we have to ask ourselves if we have become so focused on supporting personal choices that we’re failing to encourage women to aspire to leadership.

Equal opportunity is not equal unless everyone receives the encouragement that makes seizing those opportunities possible.

Queen bees internalized the low status of women and in order to feel worthy themselves wanted only to associate with men. Often, these queen bees were rewarded for maintaining the status quo and not promoting other women.

When women voice gender bias, they legitimize it.

Gender should neither magnify nor excuse rude and dismissive treatment. We should expect professional behavior, and even kindness, from everyone.

One of the conflicts inherent in having choice is that we all make different ones. There is always an opportunity cost,

True equality will be achieved only when we all fight the stereotypes that hold us back. Feeling threatened by others’ choices pulls us all down. Instead, we should funnel our energy into breaking this cycle.

Throwing up our hands and saying “It can’t be done” ensures that it will never be done.

if more women lean in, we can change the power structure of our world and expand opportunities for all. More female leadership will lead to fairer treatment for all women. Shared experience forms the basis of empathy and, in turn, can spark the institutional changes we need.