It was similar to the scenario where someone makes a disorganized and preoccupied attachment in a romantic partnership; it is unreasonable to expect that a partner (someone who is not your parent) can make you feel safe, secure, and happy at all times. When they fail to do so, as they inevitably will, the disorganized individual feels hurt and frightened, which can lead to controlling behaviors and even hostility. That’s when the partner often decides to leave, which is then interpreted as abandonment and rejection, generating anger, hostility, and sometimes violence.
