Good therapists don’t probe for evidence of abuse or trauma, but instead listen carefully and attend to what their patients don’t say as much as what they do, noticing the all-important spaces between the words. Most of us will also want to draw people out about their positive experiences with parents and caregivers, particularly their memories of being attended to as children, held in mind, and known as an individual. These can have a neutralizing effect on adversity, building resilience and making therapy more likely to succeed.
