A Most Agreeable Murder (Beatrice Steele, #1)

by Julia Seales

Edmund has inherited a great deal, and money heals all wounds,” Mrs. Steele said sagely. “Don’t you mean time heals all wounds?” Beatrice asked. “No…that doesn’t sound right. It’s definitely money,” her mother replied.

Baha

“If you find yourself starting to ask untoward questions, stick something in your mouth.” Beatrice raised her eyebrows at the suggestion.

Hahahah

“Arabella gave me this belladonna to use for the ball. She grew it herself;

Mkay noted Arabella

“And, Beatrice, you look acceptable—you shall surely be considered the fourth prettiest.” “What number prettiest am I?” Mary asked. “I’ve never thought about it.” Mrs. Steele turned to scrutinize her youngest daughter. “But you have a wonderful heart.”

Screaming lmfao

And once, when Beatrice borrowed a handkerchief, he sent her an invoice for its cleaning.

Bahaha

“We’re doomed.” Mrs. Steele turned to Beatrice, her voice growing urgent.

Hahaha

had developed a heightened sense of smell but a dampened sense of finance.

same Mary same

“Secondly, Sir Huxley is a duplicitous swindler who has fooled you all. He has no more brains than a brick wall, spends more time combing his mustache than solving cases, and would rather flatter ladies than obtain witness statements.

Hahahah

“Wait,” Mrs. Steele said, grabbing Beatrice’s arm to stop her. “He could be a murderer, or worse, a Frenchman!”

Hahaha

Any gentleman who knows Mr. Croaksworth is a friend of ours indeed!”

Lol girl you aint even know that man to say that

Thankfully, there was none, except on Mary, but no one noticed.

Lol poor Mary

“Are you well, Miss Steele?” Daniel said when he approached, looking concerned. “You have the most peculiar expression.”

Ouch

“I don’t know why they should be,” Mary said. “Life is pain.”

Someone talk with Mary lmao

As she pushed past him, she accidentally brushed her arm against his. She was unnerved to find that the touch set her entire body aflame.

Ooooooooooooooohh

“Don’t tell me you’re seeing things now, too,” Miss Bolton said nervously. “Hysteria normally does not set in until one’s fortieth year—”

Noted hahah

Beatrice, however, simply could not see what all the fuss was about. She thought scones tasted better dry.

So Larry David of her

“They got the Bartholomew Babies,” she said breathlessly. “I wonder if the cellist remembers when I threw my shawl to him back in 1768.”

Hahahaha

It’s too much for my delicate constitution. But you are so sturdy; you should enjoy some punch!

Wow what a bitch..a-roony-dooni

He also commissioned a portrait of himself every six months, to show he was maintaining a good constitution. These adorned the walls of the mansion’s ballroom, so dozens of Hughs in various poses stared down at the guests.

Hahahahahaha

As Drake turned to look at her, Beatrice felt as if her heart had stopped beating.

*eyes emoji*

“I expect that tonight, we will join them in starting rumors of affection.”

Puke

“Litigation is my love language. And you must realize, it is a practical path,” Grub said,

Louis Litt vibes

Mr. Steele dropped the bag, and dozens of frogs leapt free.

Haha this man is hilarious i hope steve carrell plays him lmao

Captain Peña yelled, “Amphibians adrift! Abandon ship!”

I justt hes a CAPTAIN 😂

“Yes, Mr. Croaksworth dislikes anything dull,” Drake said. “Which must make his opinion of himself sadly low.”

Lmfao

but she had left that behind so long ago.

2 min ago

“Beatrice,” he wheezed, “shall we attempt to survive this one together?”

Or maybe Tobias a la Arrested Development

SB

*thinking emoji*

Arabella reached into her bodice and withdrew a small mirror with a miniature of herself painted on the exterior.

Adds up

“My fainties,” he whispered. “They are upon me.”

I am deceased

“Until he started dancing with Louisa,” Grub said.

STFU GruB

“I call dibs on his bones,” Mary whispered.

*lies down in coffin bc im dead*

She took a lap around the card table, brushing her hand along it, breathless. She wasn’t merely reading an article with a list of clues. She was here, finding them herself. Now that the shock had worn off, she found…it was exhilarating.

let's get into it B

Again, she thought how strange it was that he walked around with a spoon in his pocket, and such an odd one at that.

Better a cool spoon than a lame one amirite

“He calls it ‘the devil’s breath.’

Im screaming this family ahahah

“When you open your heart, a great love can start,” Daniel went on. He suddenly stood up and crossed to his desk. “Forgive me. I do not wish to forget that adage; I must write it down.”

*eye roll*

“Sir, a man has been murdered,” Drake

Bahah

“I think that’s enough rhyming for now,” Drake said firmly, moving

Same

We have decided to enter into an engagement.

Noand futhermore, ICK

“I wish we were,” Miss Bolton muttered, pinching her nose.

we love her

“Now I must ask you to leave,” Mr. Ashbrook continued, “lest you cause my forehead to wrinkle.”

Ahahaha

If only I had been playing earlier, perhaps Mr. Croaksworth would still be alive.”

These people lmfaooo

The only jewelry she wore was a single pearl on a ribbon around her neck. Odd, Beatrice thought, her eyes lingering on the pearl. She was sure Caroline had been wearing an emerald choker earlier that evening.

He indicated his cutlass. “Si vis pacem, para bellum—if you wish for peace, prepare for war.” Drake raised an eyebrow. “Let us hope it does not come to that,” he said.

“Page three hundred and four of The Lady’s Guide,” Beatrice replied. “Ladies are permitted to handle balls while playing billiards.”

Bahahah

She could not imagine him murdering anything other than a lady’s hopes for marriage.

She was suddenly breathless to find herself in Inspector Drake’s arms.

*giggle emoji*

And you can freshen up with some belladonna for your pupils, like you like.” Louisa’s shoulders stiffened.

*eyes emoji*

“It’s for the eyes,” Beatrice continued. “It makes the pupils larger.”

Did arabella give it to louisa saying it was a love potion???

“Pardon me,” Mr. Steele said, gently taking the pooting pillow from Inspector Drake’s hands. “My timing is usually better, but tonight proves…challenging.” He tucked the cushion into his jacket and ambled off after his wife and daughter.

This man bahaha