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“Will is like that,” he said, his voice softening, somber now. “Isn’t he?” Like a smile that doesn’t hurt. I nodded.
I told you, Will Grayson. We . . . don’t . . . fit.” He exhaled hard, looking over his shoulder. “There’s a part of you that’s my size, I’ll bet,” he teased.
“I’ve liked you forever,” he said. “If you talk to him, the spell will break and the night will be over because you’re not the same in the sun. You’ll have all kinds of reasons again tomorrow about why I can’t have you. Stay with me tonight. Don’t talk to him. Don’t let anything between us tonight.”
“Believe me, I had time to become well aware you didn’t give a shit, and now, neither do I.”
“I moved on.” The candle flickered, a draft hitting us from somewhere in the house. “I kissed others, touched their faces like I touched yours, and spent time with them like I never did with you.”
Her jaw flexed, and I gazed at her pretty little throat, my fingers humming with the urge to pin her to this table and eat her out until she screamed.
I stumbled and fell into the chair, and then she was on me—glaring down and squeezing my neck in her fist. I gasped, fully fucking hard now. She breathed fast and shallow, seething like she wanted to end me with her teeth. Holy shit. I groaned. God, straddle me, please.
The only difference between you and the rest of the population is that you reached that point, and most people will never reach it.”
“God, I wanna knock you up,” he said, rising up and looking down at me as he took out a condom. “I want to ruin you for all the times you made me think you didn’t want me. I want to give you a piece of me you’ll never be able to escape.”
“But you’re going to be fucking mine someday,” he growled. “Come hell or high water, Emory Scott. You’re my woman, and you’re going to come home to me every day and sit at my table and warm my fucking bed.” He kissed me. “And you’re going to give me a Will Grayson IV. Mark my words.”
“You’re gonna want it,” he promised, squeezing my neck. “You’re gonna beg for me and love me so much you can’t stand it.”
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck . . .
“You’re Lilith,” he whispered against my skin. “You can’t be burned if you’re the flame.”
She was dark and light. She wasn’t afraid to fall or to burn too bright. She was a flame.
“I want to kiss you,” I whispered. “On the lips.” “Yeah?” “Yeah.” “Why?” he teased. I panted, leaning back up and bouncing up and down on him as I held him close. “Because,” I whispered over his mouth. “Because I want to be your girl.”
Little nerd by day who likes it a little hard at night.”
The calm in the madness. The quiet in the chaos. The patience for my moment.
“I love you,” I murmured.
Your value does not rely on my opinion. Damn the patriarchy.
“It’s easier to pretend that we’re in control of everything that happens to us.” I paraphrased his words. “It’s almost peaceful. To just let it be.”
“Because he’s the one pure, beautiful thing untainted by ugliness,”
Because every time I closed my eyes, I saw the girl who made me want to be better. More. I saw Emmy Scott.
Alex was like Damon. They loved me. They indulged my dark side. They were too forgiving and too enabling. They kept me from being lonely, but Emory taught me that not everything I wanted was going to come easy.
I’d loved Emory since the moment I laid eyes on her when I was fourteen.
“I love you, Will,” she said in a quiet voice. I froze, my hand paused on her temple as I stared down at her. What? My legs nearly gave out from under me, and I gaped at her, pinching my eyebrows together and trying to see if her eyes were open or if she was still sleeping, but . . .
“The only time I ever loved my life was when I was with you.”
No one would choose me over Damon. Or me over Michael or Kai, either. No one thought I was worth a damn next to them.
“We don’t smile without you,” he whispered. “She doesn’t smile without you.”
He and Aydin and Martin were all dictators, and I never heard my own voice. Ever.
And it was my fault. I should’ve said it louder. I should’ve screamed. I hated that I had to, but it was my fault I fell quiet.
No one was going to tell me how to feel. Not anymore. No one could make me feel anything I didn’t allow. I was in control. And I was ready for an adventure.
If my head would just settle on one emotion where she was concerned, that would be fucking fantastic. I hate her, but she’s mine. Go away, but don’t go with him!
That was my girl, scarred, tattered soul, and all. She was beautiful.
She whimpered, and I reached around, cupping her throat as I took off her glasses,
“This isn’t young love anymore,” I told her, pressing her tits into the shower wall. “It’s not a crush. This is a man who’s long overdue in showing you what he can do.”
Emmy Scott happy was the most beautiful thing in the world.
In my heart, she was still my girl.
Tears pooled in my eyes. “I’m fucked up,” I choked out. “I know.” He nodded. “But if you come in here, I’m not fixing you.” He was just as fucked up. Tomorrow wouldn’t be any brighter for either of us. “Just fix it for tonight,” I whispered.
looked as Damon stepped through the smoke, laughing as he dipped down, pressing his forehead to his best friend’s.
“In my brain, I reached for you. I never stopped reaching for you.”
“The role of the villain is only determined by who’s telling the story.”
“Not everyone is born knowing their path is from point A to point B, Alex,” I bit out. “You and Will are the same. You sit up there on your high horse, all ‘love conquers all’ and shit, and refuse to understand that there are impossible choices others have to make, but it doesn’t mean we don’t love.”
because Damon was right. The villain was just a matter of perspective. It was as easy as pie for them to judge me, because on the rare occasion they weren’t doing fucked-up shit themselves, they got these splendid little attacks of sanctimony when it came to anyone outside their little group.
“Get fucked, Alex Palmer!” I bellowed, flipping her both of my middle fingers.
I pulled her in, hovering over her mouth and slipping my fingers just inside the hem of her pinstriped little boxers. “You think so, huh?” she teased. “Yeah. I think so.” I pushed them down her legs and then took her T-shirt, lifting it up. She met my eyes, but before she could worry about me or what I was diving into, I pulled it over her head and then yanked her body into mine.
I wanted to open my eyes and look. To see the look in Will’s eyes, and know that he was traveling with me on this, but it was enough to know he was watching.
I held her head to me. God, I want this. I wanted it all. I wanted Will to see me like I saw him in that wrestling room and know that I wanted to feel. I wasn’t scared to fall with him, because he made me feel safe no matter how high we climbed. I wanted him to see me, and I wanted it to be in her arms, and I wanted them to watch.
“Don’t stop,” the other voice whispered.
see Kai’s wife sitting on the floor between his legs, staring at us and barely breathing. He leaned forward, his hand on her neck and his thumb caressing her jaw as they both watched us.
Michael held Erika in his lap, her leaning back against him and their gazes fixed on us, too. His hand rested inside her shirt.
