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If she left me, I’m going to burn the whole fucking world down until I find her,
Cutting my trip short to race home, because she decides to ignore my calls and do little pirouettes all over my peace of mind? What the fuck? I knew I should’ve been single. I knew that I knew that, because this is what women do, isn’t it? They take you and ball you up into a nice, little, fucking knot until you can’t breathe, and…
“I call, you don’t answer. I send flowers—fucking flowers, Winter—and I don’t even get a text. I tap into the cameras, and you have them offline…”
“They’ll respect you, and they will respect me, so by the time Ivarsen is old enough to notice, they won’t need to be reminded again.” I stand up and turn her around, guiding her legs around me as we float back into the pool. “The only one who can bring Ivar Torrance’s father to his knees is Ivar’s mother.”
“Say my name,” he whispers.
“Michael,” I say. “That’s not how you say it.” He inches closer, taking my face in his hand. “How you’ve always said it.”
“And you know,” he goes on, “I wanted this. I wanted you to own it. I didn’t want another version of my mother. Silent, docile, living separate lives. I wanted my other half.” He looks at me, and I don’t see love anymore. Just hurt. “And I got it,” he says sadly. “When I look in the mirror, all I see is your face. I can’t tell the difference anymore.” He hesitates and gestures to Kai and Damon. “I’m all about you, and you…? You talk to them, instead of me.”
“Then why would you ever think the idea of children with any other woman wouldn’t make me sick?” he whispers, and I can hear the pain in his voice. “We will have kids. If you want them. But I will never not have you.” He shakes me. “Do you understand?” A sob lodges in my throat. “Do you understand?” he growls again. “A world where there is no us can’t happen.”
“I can’t fucking breathe without my little monster.”
The Langston kid wanted a treehouse, but once I found out he was obsessed with pirates I chucked everything that was already done and started a design for a tallship instead.
Winter shook, and I studied her face, seeing her biting her bottom lip and tears hanging at the corner of her eyes. And just like that, she was eight again, our fingers hanging on by a thread in the treehouse, and I couldn’t stop what was happening to her. “Why is she crying?” I barked at the doctor. “Because it fucking hurts!” she yelped, answering for him. “Well, give her something!”
But fuck, I was going to love them. I didn’t care about being perfect. I just wanted to be everything my father wasn’t. I wanted this with her a million more times, and no matter all the shit that still lived inside me, I already knew I was better than him.
My stomach turned a little. I wanted more kids, but I didn’t like putting her body through this at all.
And I didn’t want to see her cry like that again.
She paused and then said, “I love you.” A pang hit my heart like it always did when she said that. Like I was falling for her all over again.