Kill Switch (Devil's Night, #3)

by Penelope Douglas

There is a reason that all things are as they are. —Bram Stoker, Dracula

“Now . . .” my sister’s new husband whispered in my ear. “Now you belong to me.”

He made himself the cure, which wouldn’t have been necessary if he hadn’t also created the disease.

You may not be the happiest wife, Arion, but I’m told this is why God invented Saks and Xanax.”

Damon never lied. Except when he did.

Life felt like hell because we expected it to feel like heaven. The quote I read years ago went something like that, but I never understood it. When you’re in the thick all your life, living in ways you eventually figure out no one else is, you learn to sleep well in heat and eat fire. Until one day it’s all you need.

Sex for me was in the head. Almost entirely.

“Because pain in the body quiets the pain in the head. It feels good, like a kill switch for your brain.

“Acting like that time with her wasn’t the only fucking time I didn’t hate fucking.”

“You teach your daughter to hide in everyone else’s world,” I shot back, “and I’ll teach mine everyone else exists in hers. Go fuck yourself, and leave the kid alone.”

In fact, he was kind of an angel at the end. An angel with really black bat wings. Psycho.

“You could never not draw attention,” he finally said. “And it has nothing to do with you being blind.”

The world respected people who didn’t crave approval.

All of those were agonizing possibilities, but not nearly as painful as facing the most likely one. He’d lost interest. He’d had his fun, moved on, and was happy and laughing with someone else, while I sat around and missed him.

Not everyone needed help to stop hurting themselves. Some of us just traded one coping mechanism for another.

“You taught me how to survive that day,” he said. “You taught me how to be strong and how to get to the next minute. And the next and the next.

“People are a blend of external and internal influences, not all controlled variables. Sometimes, just sometimes, we are who we are. Even in the sea, a snake is a snake.” “A lion, a lion,” she added with a smile in her voice.

“People come together, and for a tiny space of time,” she went on, “it’s beautiful and raw, because you can’t think and you don’t want to. You just feel.” She paused and then continued. “The moments are what we remember.”

“Men don’t feel ashamed for enjoying sex on their terms. You shouldn’t either.”

“If you want this town, we are not leading by creating a massacre in the streets,” she bit out. “They won’t fear us because we’re armed. They’ll fear us because we never fail.”

“We’re going to rule the world, Rika.” I held out my hands, grinning. “You, Banks, and me.”

I wish we never had to leave the fountain. We never did.