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People assumed I behaved strictly on impulse, when actually, it required quite a bit of strategy to be this fucked up.
“Because pain in the body quiets the pain in the head. It feels good, like a kill switch for your brain.
“What’s your tattoo?” I asked quietly, remembering how my friend noticed he had one. He didn’t say anything for a moment, or ask how I knew, but then he answered, “A decaying snowflake.” I raised my eyebrows. A decaying . . . “Why?” I asked. “Because of ‘Winter’ by Walter de la Mare,” he replied softly. “Something still beautiful, even after what I did to her.” Her. Me. The snowflake represented winter.