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Life felt like hell because we expected it to feel like heaven.
People assumed I behaved strictly on impulse, when actually, it required quite a bit of strategy to be this fucked up.
“Because pain in the body quiets the pain in the head. It feels good, like a kill switch for your brain.
“Because I can’t feel guilt, sadness, anger, or shame as strongly as I can feel fear anymore, and there’s no stronger fear than when I scare myself.”
“You were the only loner I knew who hated being alone,”
No one has been through what I’ve been through. No one else is feeling this. No one knows what it’s like to be me. This is the first time anyone has endured what I’ve endured, right? They’re lies we tell ourselves because we think we’re special. Because it would lessen the entitlement to suffer to know what we’re going through is not uncommon.
We couldn’t stop the world from happening to us. We could only react.
