More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
Everything was so polished, and when I looked around at all the adults and families I grew up with, their money and designer clothes, I often saw a coat of paint that you apply when you’re trying to cover up rotting wood. There were dark deeds and bad seeds, but who cared if the house was falling apart as long as it was pretty, right?
I wanted to get into a little trouble. I wanted to catch some rain, find something that made my heart pump again, and I wanted to know what it was like to not have anyone to grab onto.
Chess would teach me strategy, fencing would teach me human nature and self-preservation, and dancing would teach me my body. All necessary for a well-rounded person.
The corner of his mouth tilted in a smile, and he walked around me toward the door. “Night, Little Monster.”
The closer you got to anything beautiful, the less beautiful it became. Allure was in the mystery, not the appearance.
Three years ago, curious little Erika Fane wanted to play with the boys, so we indulged her, and she betrayed us. There was no way we’d forget. Once restitution was paid, my friends could have peace.
He grazed his lips up my neck as he spoke. “They tell us that what we want is wrong and that freedom is dirty. They see chaos, madness, and fucking as ugly, and the older you get, the smaller that box gets. You feel it closing in already, don’t you?”
“Own who you are,” he commanded. “And don’t apologize. Do you understand? Own it or it will own you.”
“When you want to make an impression and you think you’ve gone far enough, go a little further. Always leave them wondering if you’re just a little bit crazy, and people will never fuck with you again.”
And the things that were irreplaceable in life were the only things of value.
Our scrapes and bruises, tattoos, scars, smiles, and wrinkles told our stories, and I didn’t want a pristine piece of wallpaper. I wanted her and everything she was. At least for tonight.
And even though she was always the one to watch me as we grew up, that didn’t mean I wasn’t always aware of her, either. I still remembered the day she was born. Sixteen years, eleven months, and eighteen days ago. That crisp November morning when my mother let me hold her and then my father immediately took her out of my arms and laid her next to Trevor, who was just a baby then, too. Even at three I understood. She was Trevor’s.
The most valuable lesson anyone learns in life should be learned as early as possible. That you don’t have to live in the reality someone else invented. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Ever.
Redefine normal. None of us know the full measure of our power until we start pushing our boundaries and pressing our luck, and the more we do, the less we care what others think. The freedom feels too good.
His rudeness and coarse attitude made the rare times he was soft so captivating that I wanted to slap myself. He was a sadist, and my little heart just had to go pitter-patter the second his yanks, grabs, and pulls turned into gentle caresses and his frowns, scowls, and snarls turned into whispers.
Touching my forehead to hers, I ran my thumb across her face, caressing it. “I love you, Rika.”
He was always game. And thanks to his tutelage, now so was I. He’d corrupted me.
“But it doesn’t make any sense. Life is one-way, and there is no return trip. What are you waiting for?”
