All Your Firsts Without Me

by L.M. Terry

Kaden whoops behind me, making me jump a foot. “Kaden! Why do you insist on scaring me all the time?” “It’s what I do.” He laughs and sits down beside me. “Dad went to bed. He says he’s tired.” I frown. He is fatigued more and more every day. The tears start again, much to my chagrin. I quickly brush them away, hoping Kaden doesn’t notice but it’s hopeless. “Hey. It’s okay. Go ahead and cry, April.” He pulls me close and pushes my head down on his shoulder. “I’m… I’m sorry, Kaden. I don’t want to damper your visit.” He chuckles miserably. “April, you know why dad called me home, don’t you?” He tips my chin so he can look into my eyes. “Because he missed you?” I ask on a hiccup. He shakes his head sorrowfully. “He knows the time is near.” I stare at him for a pregnant minute before jumping to my feet. “No. He’s wrong. The doctors have said nothing of the sort. He could live for years and years on dialysis. He’s wrong. Goddammit, he’s wrong!” I scream to the ocean. A wave crashes angrily at my feet, even it knows how wrong this is. I’m crying hard and fast now. Harder than I ever cried when I was locked in that stupid basement. That was nothing compared to this. Kaden doesn’t move, he watches me quietly while I rage at the universe. It’s all so unfair.