Don’t tell anyone, but I’ve secretly been hiding two narcotic pain pills each time he gets a new script. They give me peace of mind. I’m afraid when he’s gone, I’ll be forced back into the dark and there will only be one way out. Those tablets are my portal back to him. I hope I won’t need them but how can I know. I haven’t had to live without him since I was sixteen. He makes me promise him daily I will keep moving forward. I have good intentions when I make those vows. I do. I really do. I want to be strong and live for him. I’ll try. I will. Sometimes, I lie in bed when he is in the other
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