All Your Firsts Without Me

by L.M. Terry

“Why won’t you talk when I’m not around?” “You are my sunshine. Without you, I cannot bloom,” she answers shyly. She’s a bit of a poet. I’m slowly learning to decipher her way of communicating. “Sweetheart, you have to learn to speak when I’m not around.” She turns her face away from me and continues to write in the journal I gifted her. “You look at me with different eyes,” she says while scribbling words onto the paper. “My eyes are just like anyone’s. Everyone here wants to help you.” She pauses and bites the end of her pen. “Your eyes are filled with sunshine and happiness. Everybody else’s are filled with pity and morbid curiosity.” I’ve watched her grow from a timid little girl to a quiet, beautiful young woman but, she is still trapped in that basement. Still afraid to speak without me. Her therapist thinks it’s because I was the first person she saw outside of her family. “April, I’m not always going to be around. Please, for me, you need to try,” I beg. Tears pool in her eyes. “You’re going to stop coming to see me?” her tiny voice cracks. I sigh loudly. “I’m not abandoning you. But you turn eighteen in a few months, and you’ll be too old to stay here. You know Sandy is looking at colleges for you. If you go to one of them, you will need to talk to other people. I cannot be with you every minute of the day.” “I’m not going to college.” She slams the journal shut, shooting to her feet. “April.” I reach for her hand, but she sprints away, her long hair billowing beh...