Wow, Felix is brutal. ‘It’s a big room but it’s not big enough for your ego,’ he continues. ‘We have a genuine star sitting at this table. Emmy is a big name who will draw a crowd. Granted, I find her show to be derivative drivel, lazily titillating the masses with torture porn – and often actual porn – but make no mistake, this pantomime is beneath her. Emmy can act, and people will actually want to see her playing Cinderella.’ OUCH! Absolutely savage.

