Lessons in Sin

by Pam Godwin

“I promise you this.” I squared my shoulders and stood, facing him head-on. “I’m going to make your life a living hell.” “Hell is fast approaching, little girl. But I assure you, it’s not coming for me.”

She had a weakness for vulnerable things. So do I.

“Animals are better than people.” “How so?” “They don’t judge. They don’t hate. If humans had hearts like opossums, what a beautiful world this would be.”

I needed her to come back.

“You underestimate her.”

“You foolish girl, all you had to do was read the correct passage.”

I held my breath. He locked the door. Click.

I’d never heard or seen a man so worked up. And I was the source of that. The fuel for his fire. I was freeing him. It did something to me. Called to me. Shook me like an awakening.

“Go, Tinsley.” Nothing moved but his lips, his voice low and guttural. “Run.”

“I feel everything with you.”

“I want to die,” I whispered when he reached me. “No, you don’t. You’d much rather live to annoy the hell out of me every day.”

“Holy fuck, Magnus. You’re ruining me for all other tampons.”

“You hold all the power between us. You always have.”

Everywhere I looked, she was there. Because she was the only place I wanted to be.

“Kneel.”

I hadn’t been called to be a priest. I’d been called to be hers.

Whether this was kismet, God’s will, some divine decree, or a fucking cosmic alignment, I didn’t care. I didn’t need an explanation to be with her. Just like I didn’t need an explanation to breathe. I did both by instinct.

“You’re my first.” I ran my fingers through her hair, content to my marrow. “And my last.”

“Why did you? Become a priest?” “The short answer…absolution.” “Absolution from what?” “Hurting people. Hurting women.” The cold air felt suddenly colder, sinking into my bones. “I did something, and I need you to…” Not run. If she ran, I would chase her.

I spent two weeks with her in the mountains, and for the first time in my life, I felt no inner battle. No regrets. She was the greatest blessing heaven could’ve given me, and I wouldn’t misuse or squander this gift. I would cherish her and protect her at all costs.

I would never leave her. She belonged to me for always and in all ways.

“I don’t hate you, Magnus.” I love you. “I care enough that I don’t want Ronan to kill you.” I would die for you. “So I made a deal with my mother.” I gave up my dreams so you can live to realize yours. “I need you to cooperate.” “No.” The fury in that one word burned with unholy fire. He grabbed my arm, spun me around, and shoved his face in mine. “Choose me.” I am. This is me choosing you. I will always choose you.

“I’ve accepted the discipline I’ve earned, but there is only so much correction a heart can withstand. You’re my greatest, most painful punishment, Tinsley Constantine.”

Being with him had been an ascension to heaven. Leaving him condemned me to eternal hell.

“You’re really here?” I whispered. “Told you,” he murmured around the pen between his teeth. “I promised I would stay with you. Keep you.” “Fucking roar for me.” I cried through a laugh. “Always.”

“I love you.” Blood thudded through my veins. “I know.” “Galen told you that, too?” “No.” He slid his thumb along my bottom lip. “Your face did. That day in the church, I watched your heart break into a million pieces.”