Lessons in Sin

by Pam Godwin

“If you leave me here,” I said, “I’ll tarnish our family name so completely you won’t be able to keep it out of the press.”

No doubt Caroline had been working that angle for years, positioning her daughter to marry into a family that strengthened her empire. The thought made me sick. No one should be used that way, but it happened.

Losing my virginity was high on my to-do list. Giving it up to a priest, though? This priest? The notion was insane. Petrifying. And brilliant.

When he asks you to the Winter Formal dance, which he will, every girl at Sion will hate you.” “Except you?” “Tucker is a total douchebag. I wouldn’t piss on him if he were on fire.”

Then I saw her. Walking along the wall just before nine, she took my breath away. Her beauty was so otherworldly, so unrivaled and angelic, I wanted to protect her, not hurt her. I couldn’t stomach the thought of poisoning her with my cancer and stripping her soul from her body. I wouldn’t do it.

“You want what exactly? What is this one great passion?” “Anything. Everything. Independence, self-discovery, romantic love, spiritual or professional fulfillment—whatever it is, it’s mine.” Her rasping breaths fell in a beguiling tumble of sounds, striking the air with tenacity. “The passion is in pursuing the life I want, and no one is going to take that from me.”

Rarely did she care about other people’s perceptions of her, but for whatever reason, she didn’t want me to believe she was superficial or weak-minded. She had no idea how far removed she was from those traits, and that only made her more beautiful, more desirable, harder to go unnoticed. She was unlike any eighteen-year-old I’d ever met.

“Animals are better than people.” “How so?” “They don’t judge. They don’t hate. If humans had hearts like opossums, what a beautiful world this would be.” If people had hearts like Tinsley Constantine, my faith in humanity would be renewed.

Every day with her was a wild ride of tight turns, steep slopes, and unpredictable adjustments. I’d never been so mentally and physically aroused in my life.

“She needs you in her corner.” Magnus held his arms behind him, his gorgeous face void of emotion. “But she doesn’t need you to fight her fights. Your sister has more ferocity than you and me combined.”

I wanted this too badly. I wanted to go home, and at the same time, I wanted to grab his collar, rip it from his throat, yell at him to fly apart and give me everything he hid from the world. I wanted the man who roared behind those eyes, not the priest who imprisoned him.

He knew what he was doing. He knew, and he’d tried to protect me from it. From him.

“What I really need is…” She released a tremulous sigh, rested a palm on my chest, and met my gaze. “You. The way you are in this moment. I feel like it’s okay to be sad with you, like I can let down my guard in your arms.”

“Let’s not go crazy here. I’m still going to make your life a living hell.” Impossible. Every second with her was unexpected and challenging and pure bliss.

Nine years. I hadn’t touched a woman, smelled, tasted, or kissed a woman in nine years. The heat from her lips was staggering, the honeyed flavor of her tongue more sinful than I could’ve ever fathomed. The sweetest heaven. My heaven, my salvation—neither of which I deserved.

He was thinking about our kiss. We both were.

Maybe I should call my mother and tell her that her decision to send me to an all-girls Catholic school had cured my curiosity with boys. I was no longer interested in giving blow jobs to college guys who worked at Burger King. Now I only wanted to spread my legs for men twice my age who bit and spanked and wore clerical collars.

He was danger. Sin encaged in muscle and bone. A demon wearing the face of a god, the collar of a priest, and the belt of Adonis.

“I want to die,” I whispered when he reached me. “No, you don’t. You’d much rather live to annoy the hell out of me every day.”

“I’ve already ruined the dance.” “You haven’t ruined anything.” He leaned in and whispered at my ear, “You’re so goddamn sexy it’s taking all my strength not to maul you right here in front of everyone.”

Every instinct inside me demands I protect you.”

She was made for me. Intelligently, impeccably designed. For me alone. Mine.

Was I controlling? Absolutely. Was I wrong to keep her close? Debatable.

Tinsley was expected to marry Tucker, and I was ready to commit mass murder over it.

This was no longer about keeping my vows. Those had been razed to the ground the night I’d met her.

“You hold all the power between us. You always have.”

“In what capacity do you need me?” “In every capacity. All of it. But we can start with your cock. I want to see it—” “Stop.” “—touch it, put it in my mouth, and—” “Enough.” “—ride it.”

“He will never touch you. Not him or anyone else.” His muscles coiled. “Do I make myself clear?”

I’d never seen him so unhinged that he wasn’t even aware of his actions. We were in the church, in the damn confessional, for Christ’s sake, and he’d crashed in like a chest-pounding, hair-grabbing caveman.

I almost had sex. In a confessional. With a priest. Now would be a good time to start praying.

I hadn’t been called to be a priest. I’d been called to be hers.

I’d waited four months to indulge in her perfect beauty, and I was coming to her after a nine-year dry spell. I was beyond ravenous.

“You’re my first overnight.” “Like the first girl to sleep beside you?” “The very first person.” “Ever?” “Ever.”

“You’re my first.” I ran my fingers through her hair, content to my marrow. “And my last.”

Tinsley Constantine didn’t need any man to save her. But I wanted to be the one she depended on. Everything inside me demanded I provide for her, starting with a means of escape from the future her mother was scheming.

With the right incentive, I could be a tenacious son of a bitch. And Tinsley was that incentive. It was in my nature to keep a firm hold on her. She would call it controlling. I called it protective. Maybe possessive. Definitely jealous.

I’ll stay with you. I’ll keep you. I’ll fucking roar for you. If anyone fucks with you, I’ll be their nightmare. I’ll burn down the goddamn world for you.

She belonged to me for always and in all ways.

I’m going to show you how much I’m going to burn for you until I have you again.”

“You’re not meant to be a priest, Magnus. It was never your calling.”

Pure heart, beautiful mind, bright soul. I loved her. How could I not? She was so very easy to love.

He’d told me to trust him, and I did. I trusted he would do everything he could to change my fate. But he wouldn’t change my mother’s mind.

“Calm down.” “I can’t. You know why? Because if anything happens to him, it will destroy me. Do you understand? I will not survive it.”

“He would jump in front of a bullet for me.” My insides quivered with fear. “And I would do the same for him.”

His razored eyes tracked me, stalked me, his features twisting in disbelief and anger. He was mine, and I was giving him up.

“Choose me.” I am. This is me choosing you. I will always choose you.

“I promised I would stay with you. Keep you.”

“No one touches me but you.”

“What’s my penance?” “A lifetime with me.”