Lessons in Sin

by Pam Godwin

In other words, no one thought I had a backbone.

I was doomed to spend my last year of high school alone.

I wanted to crush on boys, wear my own clothes, and live a normal life. Why was that too much to ask?

But I wasn’t like other girls. I wasn’t allowed to make mistakes or have regrets.

Somehow, I was supposed to learn life’s lessons by being perfect. What a load of shit.

“I want to experience normal girl stuff, explore things, experiment, and stretch my wings. I want to live.”

“I promise you this.” I squared my shoulders and stood, facing him head-on. “I’m going to make your life a living hell.”

“Hell is fast approaching, little girl. But I assure you, it’s not coming for me.”

Even when I was a teenager, I sought older women. An obsession that ultimately became my destruction.

I hadn’t been called to be a priest. Nine years ago, I chose this life as my penance. Celibacy confined the darkness inside me, and placing myself in a boarding school kept my cravings in check. The faculty was comprised of priests, retired professors, elderly widows, and a few devout married couples. I surrounded myself with zero temptations. Best decision I’d ever made, and perhaps, the only noble thing I’d ever done.

She had a weakness for vulnerable things. So do I.

Losing my virginity was high on my to-do list. Giving it up to a priest, though? This priest? The notion was insane. Petrifying. And brilliant.

“Do you humiliate all your students like this?”

“No.”

“Right. So how many students would you say, on average, pee themselves in your classroom every year?” Please, say all of them.

“You’re the first.”

His undivided attention should’ve scared the crap out of me, but instead, I found comfort in it. I wanted it, and that bothered me most of all.

Her beauty was so otherworldly, so unrivaled and angelic, I wanted to protect her, not hurt her. I couldn’t stomach the thought of poisoning her with my cancer and stripping her soul from her body. I wouldn’t do it.

Her intelligence went way beyond memorization, and whoever had told her otherwise should have their tongue ripped out.

She was way too easy to rile, and I rather enjoyed it.

“Either send me home or spank me. I’m not scrubbing your floors.”

“Careful, Tinsley.”

“You have no idea what you’...

This tiny elven minx was going to be the death of me.

I wanted to put my hands on her so badly, and if I did, if I physically punished her, it would be irrefutably, uncontrollably, gloriously sexual for me.

“Animals are better than people.”

“How so?”

“They don’t judge. They don’t hate. If humans had hearts like opossums, what a beauti...

If people had hearts like Tinsley Constantine, my faith in humani...

Every day with her was a wild ride of tight turns, steep slopes, and unpredictable adjustments. I’d never been so mentally and physically aroused in my life.

“But don’t you worry your pretty little head about me, Father Magnanimous. Whenever I feel like giving in, I remember I have a lot of assholes to disappoint.”

“You might be fooling everyone else with that collar around your throat. But I saw the way you looked at her, priest, and I don’t like it. If you hurt her, I will come for you.”

“You foolish girl, all you had to do was read the correct passage.”

“Here’s a passage for you, straight from the Gospel of Tinsley. Thou shalt fuck off.”

He stood there for a moment with his back to me, one hand on the door handle, the other shifting in front of him, near his groin. Adjusting himself? I held my breath. He locked the door. Click. A teeny s...

I wanted his lessons in sin.

“I tried to protect you.” He curled his fingers around my throat and scraped his teeth against my jaw. “I tried, and now, it’s too late. I won’t be able to stop. Not with you.”

“I’m not a liar, Tinsley.”

“But I lied to you once. I’m interested in everything beneath your skirt. Every hole. Every drop of blood. Don’t make a sound.”

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. This is my first confession.”

“I tried to seduce a priest.”

“It was selfish. Vindictive. I want to go home and thought only of my needs, not once considering what would...

“Is there anythin...

“I cuss every day and masturbate ...

“Tins...

“I shouldn’t have said that last part, even...

“I have a lot of sins, Father. I’m sorry for...

“Only ...

“Not gonn...

“You rare...