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“Seduce her? You mean fuck her, then,” Heidi says, revealing the real reason she hates this plan. “Again, gross.”
Girl might be a bitch but at least she knows the code.
“Tattoos. Tall, dark, and damaged. The more emotionally unavailable, the better.” She beams. “If he’s got a juvenile rap sheet and motorcycle, I’m open for business.”
HAHAHAHHHAHAHA FOR REAL GIRL
Anyway, she’s about half my size, and I hate throwing my back out bending down to kiss a girl.
Yesssss go tall girls!
because my pulse is racing and my
cheeks are hot, and I hate feeling like I’m not in control of my own body.
hate that shit
If I’ve learned one thing from rom coms, it’s that you are not allowed to be friends with someone you’re attracted to.
Uh uh, bad idea girls. Dont recommend.
My skin doesn’t tingle when he touches me. My thighs don’t clench, and my mouth doesn’t run dry.
Boy bye.
I told her I didn’t want a relationship when we first hooked up. I hoped it would only be a one-night thing, each of us scratching an itch, and then we’d go back to being friends. But I was naïve. One night led to a few more, and now our friendship is more strained than ever.
What friendship dude eww. Scratch your itches outside your friend groups prople not worth it.
She’s never been attracted to the nice ones. Just the jerks like me.
Yep. The struggle is real.
I suddenly see the next five, ten, twenty years of my life closing in on me.
Get out of there kook.
Raw, zealous.
Manifesting som raw zealous shit for myself in the future thank you very much.
It’s always the good girls, right? All sweater sets and manners until you get them alone. Then they’re shoving your face between their legs and leaving with blood under their fingernails.
Duh. Get with the program boys.
Goddamn. Yes, princess, by all means I’d love to see how you look with my cock in your mouth, but I’m trying out this new being-a-gentleman thing, if you’ll let me.
“This is why we can’t have nice things,”
“Men,”
You're telling me girly pop.
I scratch my fingertips lightly up and down the back of his neck, in the way I know gets him a little hard.
“I’m not fucking anyone else. I don’t want you fucking anyone else. If anyone looks at you funny, I’m breaking their face. How’s that work?”
Now was that so hard?
Because while the truth hurts you, the lie degrades you.
Time to wipe up my smudged mascara and be a bad bitch. Fuck love. Build the empire.
