Straight

by Chuck Tingle

trauma has a way of making you second guess even the most fundamental parts of yourself.

Once a year, the colors of the rainbow flag will shine with even more brilliance. Because they have to.

“Sometimes the best way to deal with something serious is to get a little silly,” I remind him. “You can’t just exercise these demons by moping around.

“It’s easy to be an ally when you don’t have to give anything up. You can talk and talk and talk all day, and get plenty of credit for your words. I’m not speaking on that. What I said was, ‘when it’s time to put your neck out.’ What are you gonna do when the guillotine is sitting right there and your friends are lying under it? Are you gonna join that fight?”

The general criticism of straight allies is that they only show up when it’s easy and convenient, and there’s a lot of truth to that statement. It doesn’t take much to call yourself an ally, but will you be there when it actually matters?

Maybe I’ve been livid this whole time, and now I’ve finally given myself permission to feel it.

“I’m. Not. Responsible. For. Cleaning. Up. Your. Cis. Straight. Bullshit,”

Allies are important, of course, but tonight Brandon proved they’re far from the ultimate solution. Real momentum comes when the queer community relies on each other.

I’m no longer willing to bend over backward for this unprovoked violence, no longer willing to take responsibly for the consequences of their fury when it invades my space and threatens my life. I will help the overwhelmed when I can, and I will live with love and mercy in my heart, but don’t come at me as a screaming, rage-filled zombie and expect to be babysat.