The Mostly True Story of Tanner and Louise

by Colleen Oakley

How did one make friends as an adult?

The eternal question...

“And you’re Tanner. What’s your brother’s name—Jessica?”

Seriously what's with these names

“Nothing in life goes according to plan. Nothing. And the sooner you accept that, the better off you’ll be.”

LUCY: I just figured Mom has a right to her private life. JULES: Ha! She absolutely does not! She’s our mother.

Nosy kids!!

“I think I’m broken. Like I don’t even know how to be a person anymore. How to be . . . anything.”

Oh the angst of the early 20s.

when she pushed his overly large head out of her overly small vagina,

Is this detail necessary? LOL

“I got busted with weed in my car when I was a senior in high school. It was three ounces, which in Georgia equals a felony.

😲 THREE OUNCES IS A LOT

“Sometimes it just feels like we still spend so much time trying to teach the house not to catch on fire, instead of teaching the arsonist not to light it.”

Once, it had seemed like her only option. Like life was only supposed to go one way. Like there was one road on a map she was expected to follow, and when she got knocked off it, she’d scrambled so hard to try and get back on it, she couldn’t see all the other routes available to her.

In life, there were two kinds of friends: friends who would wish you well on your journey to battle, and friends who would jump in the trenches with you.