Not Here to Be Liked

by Michelle Quach

Because everyone loves a girlboss until she tries to tell you what to do.

Len looks up at this point. “So,” he says. “You’ve noticed my acne?”

James barges into the room and dumps his books, full of loose papers, in front of me. “Jesus!” He sees that we have the manifesto pulled up on the screen. “Did you approve this?” he asks Mr. Powell, who says, delicately, that he did not.

i bet len finished and published it

@benimator: Did he start screwing another chick or something? She sounds real pissed off @socalsurf18: He must have dumped her. She just needs to get laid. @78coffeeabs: Dude I don’t blame him. She’s def not hot enough to be that extra.

these are so realistic omg

“This is your chance to truly feel the highs and lows of Shakespearean drama.”

the highs and lows of high school football. god sorry riverdale (barchie) just consumes my thoughts these days

“People might be judging me now, for agreeing with Eliza. But she’s right. I think she should be editor in chief of the Bugle next year. And we should all give this inequality thing another look.”

serena i like you for doing this

“What kind of Asian are you?” I shake my head as I push his drink back to him. “Half,” he says, leaning forward to take a sip.

“It’s her sweater,” Len interrupts. He shrugs as we both regard him curiously. “She doesn’t usually wear that sweater.”

and when we find out that hes liked her all this time then what

“Assuming, of course, she’s actually planning to follow through with this whole thing.”

getting a bit tired of winona acting so holier than thou about serena

“What about alternate-universe Eliza?” Len thinks about it for a moment. “She’d probably be . . . easygoing, humble, and totally obsessed with boys.” I snort. “What does she think of alternate-universe Len?” “Oh, she likes him.” “Does he like her?” “Sure. They get along pretty well.”

Now it’s my turn to look at him like he should know better. “No guy leans into a girl like that without being into her,” I say, with an authority that is not based on personal experience. “That seems like conjecture.” “No, it’s definitely true.” “Are you sure?” Len takes a few steps closer and unexpectedly pulls the move on me, putting out a hand to support his weight against the shipping container wall. “Still?”

SCREAMING

When I understand what he doesn’t, I lean up and kiss him. His very obvious surprise doesn’t stop him from kissing me back, and it throws me off a little, how much he is kissing me back.

AHHHHH

And Natalie looks so pleased that I call out, “Anytime today, Natalie.”

aw eliza you’re jealous

“He told me that he’d let us work it out ourselves.” “That’s it?” “That’s it.” We’re both silent for a minute. Then Len pulls his keys out of his pants pocket, tosses them in the air, and catches them with one hand. “So . . . what do you think?” he says, giving me side-eye. “Should we try to work it out?”

screaming

AND THAT, FRIENDS, IS HOW LADY JUSTICE FINDS herself straddling the patriarchy atop a well-made bed,

This is the male gaze, I realize. It’s wonderful and horrible at the same time.

“So, you like this boy?” What the actual F. Do I have it written on my forehead? How does she know? Is everyone going to know?

Now Serena laughs. “Is he going to resign, at least?” “I don’t know,” I say. “He said he would, but he hasn’t. I don’t know how many more hand jobs it’s gonna take.”