The Corner Chip

by Jessica Seburn

I’m turning 28 and she is not. If you want to think the word is a fair place, so be it. But she should be 28 too.

This

“April never had to lose April.”

This. So many times this

What if, I just ran and never opened a phone or laptop again. Got on a plane. Went somewhere I didn’t know the language. What if I just kept running forever. Would she still be alive then? Schrödinger’s dead friend or whatever.

I also thought of doing that

Everyone is so concerned with “moving on” that nobody actually seems to realize that moving on involves very little movement.

^^^^

And now, when we sing Happy birthday Our eyes dart around when we add And many more Secretly wondering Who will be the next to go Please and many more I couldn’t stand the thought Of losing you too.

💔

“How did I not see it? She was dying and I didn’t know.”

T

Well, my best friend died this week.

💔

I failed, I couldn’t see that she was dying,

Absolutely me

Someday, they say, someday I will be gone, and it will destroy you. So now, you’re hugging people you love too tightly. And on other days, you pull away from touch. You don’t want to feel warmth.

Augh

You really are not alone. Someone, somewhere, knows exactly what you are feeling and experiencing. They made it through it. There is hope.

💔

They call these “intrusive thoughts.” It’s a symptom of PTSD. Most people would likely just think it’s dramatic. I cannot breathe. He lays so still.

💔