The Gate of the Feral Gods (Dungeon Crawler Carl, #4)

by Matt Dinniman

“Turn off your hole, Donut.” “Really, Carl. You need to find a less offensive way to say that.”

“You keep destroying governmental buildings, Carl,” Donut said. “People are going to start thinking you have a problem with authority.”

New Achievement! You’re the reason why daddy drinks!

“Hello, Chris,” I replied. “I’m glad to see you.”

“Yes, I supposed that does make more sense. Anyway, that’s not his style, and besides, every one of his plans always screws up somewhere along the way. He would’ve been caught. When he was with Miss Beatrice, his definition of ‘subtle’ was pulling his boxers down and saying, ‘me so horny.’ No offense, Carl.” “What? I never did that.” “Oh, right. That was Brad, wasn’t it? Anyway, you get my point.

New Achievement! Who Let the Gods Out? You have allowed a feral god to enter your current realm. That is the equivalent of dropping a grenade down your pants and shouting, “Yolo!”

New Achievement! Janet Jackson’s Nipple! You have been featured during a live special event. Sure you got your loyal followers and viewers, but this is on a whole new level. This is like getting to play the halftime show during the Super Bowl. We brought you to the stage, now dance for us, monkey. Dance!