The Gate of the Feral Gods (Dungeon Crawler Carl, #4)

by Matt Dinniman

“Target anyone who thinks it’s okay to put mayonnaise on hotdogs.”

“Flint says it’s because gnomes are short little assholes who deserve nothing but to be trampled to death and to be ripped apart by the feral geese.”

They described a trap where needles popped up from the floor and injected the crawler with a potion that filled his sinuses with flesh-eating beetles.”

The interior looked how one might expect a house would after a boss fight with a murderous, indestructible goose.

The entire top half of the house was gone. It looked as if a group of blindfolded and drunk beavers had decided to do a remodel job.

Mr. Banana got himself killed when a tube shot from the wall, pierced his stomach, and filled him with “Finger-sized Flesh Weasels.” They ate the poor guy from the inside out.

It will actively pour sand into every available orifice, filling you until you explode. And since you’re only wearing boxers with relatively easy access to your… southern entrance… Yeah. Don’t let it get you.

“Go fuck yourself, Carl,” Donut said.

“With your new jacket and bandana and tattoos, you look like someone whose picture gets put on the news because he did something involving indecent exposure and a Wal-Mart.