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August 25 - September 17, 2025
burned-out shell of metal on the ground. It appeared it’d been there for some time.
“Hump Town. Bang twice to enter.”
The next achievement came in the AI’s creepy, I’m-touching-myself-and-smoking-a-cigarette voice.
I know it eats mushrooms.”
“Katia Prime,”
The cleaner bot let out an angry trill.
“You keep destroying governmental buildings, Carl,” Donut said. “People are going to start thinking you have a problem with authority.”
“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck me, fuckity fuck,”
She still had duct tape all up and down her body.
New Achievement! You’re the reason why daddy drinks!
We are all prostitutes in one way or another,
“Am I a joke to you, Carl?”
It was Donut. A toy, robot Donut.
Donut: I DON’T HAVE THUMBS, CARL.
“Carl, Carl, there are still bullets left in the gun!” Donut suddenly exclaimed. “I can shoot stuff!”
“Somebody keeps spilling it.”
“Orphans will always have a home in Hump Town.”
Star Trek, and the bad guys were always beaming themselves onto enemy ships to attack.”
“I think the AI is smoking weed,”
Tran turned to Vadim. “Do you own a red shirt? I feel as if I should put one on.”
The Akula’s control center was a combination between the Enterprise bridge from Star Trek and the interior of a Victorian-era-themed restaurant that was so expensive, the prices weren’t on the menu. At least it had been, once upon a time.
“The whole AI seems to be going insane.” He looked up. “No offense.”
“I think they’re right about you. I think you’re crazy. Like, not a little weird crazy. Not guy who eats cereal without milk crazy. But crazy, crazy. Straitjacket crazy.”
CARL KEPT THE ARM AND IS GOING TO USE IT AS A BACK SCRATCHER.
which was just a sarcophagus filled with the skeleton of a goose wearing a golden, unenchanted crown.
When you’re in the Carl and Donut party, you ride on the Carl and Donut rollercoaster, and once it gets going, there’s no getting off. I need to do this.”