The Gate of the Feral Gods (Dungeon Crawler Carl, #4)

by Matt Dinniman

If I was allowed to upgrade your prize, I would. Maybe. I dunno. Actually, you know what? No. No I wouldn’t. Fuck you.

You know who else fell from a…? You know what, never mind. Fuck you. Reward: You’ve received a Silver Skydiver’s Box! Not that

Crawler Bitch Boy Carl.

New Achievement! You’re the reason why daddy drinks! You have, for an unspecified reason, raised the ire of the System AI. You have corrected the issue, and everything is back to normal. The acceleration action has been suspended. This time. Good boy.

Reward: You’ve received a Gold Makeup Sex is the Best Sex box.

Spoiler alert. Nobody is going to read your autobiography disguised as a space vampire and minotaur romance.

How very convenient for those of us who are wondering wtf is going on with this storyline.

the crystalized sex doll,

Donut freaked the absolute fuck out.

It had a sparkly barrette in its hair that read, “Wet for you.”

And who’s the daddy of these precious little babies? Who knows? Lusca is a whore!

is now long gone. Just like your real daddy!

They don’t know who their daddies are, which makes them kinda sad, especially around Christmas.

New Achievement! Who Let the Gods Out?

Ahh, the planet earth. A whole lot of culture. A whole lot of spunk. So many dumbasses.

But then again, those same people are sitting at home covered in Cheeto mud watching this show while wearing pajamas.

Enchanted Handcuffs. My safe word is, “Harder, Daddy.” You know what these are. Your mom had a pair in her drawer, and your dad was probably no stranger to these things, either.

DOES SHE LOOK LIKE AN UNCIRCUMCISED GNOME PENIS?

Honestly if these highlights don’t convince you to read this series I don’t know what will 😂

holding onto the cackling sex doll by the hair.

He says he’d rather fornicate with a razor elemental than stick it in you ever again!”