ultimately Tony was a man who was trying his best—to free himself of his analytical mind, to find a belief system that was more forgiving of his spiritual ambivalence, to express his love to the people he cared about, to reconcile the contradictions that embodied his internal and external life and ultimately defined his persona. His best was enough for millions of fans, but it wasn’t enough for him. Throughout the years, both before and after his death, I’ve struggled with persistent questions of whether he actually cared enough about me to give me his best. But ultimately it doesn’t matter:
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