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Crosby marched across the lobby to the desk cl...
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“I want to report that man over there, that pissant, that...
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You may be getting a nice picture on the wall over there, but, by God, the pissant who’s making it is the most insulting, discouraging son of a bitch I ever met in my life.”
“Sir—he owns the hotel.”
H. LOWE CROSBY and his wife checked out of the Casa Mona. Crosby called it “The Pissant Hilton,” and he demanded quarters at the American embassy.
What I had seen, of course, was the Bokononist ritual of boko-maru, or the mingling of awarenesses.
We Bokononists believe that it is impossible to be sole-to-sole with another person without loving the person, provided the feet of both persons are clean and nicely tended.
WHEN I GOT BACK to my room I found that Philip Castle—mosaicist, historian, self-indexer, pissant, and hotel-keeper—was installing a roll of toilet paper in my bathroom.
“This is what I’d call a hotel with a real heart. How many hotel owners would take such a direct interest in the comfort of a guest?”
“How many hotel owners have just one guest?”
“You used to have...
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“Those were th...
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“Damned if I know why I built this hotel—something to do with my life, I guess. A way to be busy, a way not to be lonesome.”
“It was be a hermit or open a hotel—with nothing in between.”
“One time,”
“when I was about fifteen, there was a mutiny near here on a Greek ship bound from Hong Kong to Havana with a load of wicker furniture. The mutineers got control of the ship, didn’t know how to run her, and smashed her up on the rocks near “Papa” Monzano’s castle. Everybody drowned but the rats.
The rats and the wicker furniture ...
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“So some people got free furniture, and some people got bubonic plague.
We had stacks of dead so deep and wide that a bulldozer actually stalled trying to shove them toward a common grave.
Father worked without sleep for days, worked not only without sleep but without saving many lives, either.”
Frank Hoenikker wants to see me right away.”
“Take your time. Relax. He’s a moron.”
“He said it was im...
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