More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
“Do you think the pilot system is rigged against girls in some technical way? Beyond only pairing us with stronger boys?”
“Girls—girls are naturally weaker pilots!” An Lushan wheezes. “That’s just the way it is!” “I don’t buy that. Shimin, let’s continue.” Table swing. Streaming liquor. Wet screaming and choking. “How is the piloting system rigged against girls?” I say, impossibly calm.
“Spirit pressures . . . too unpredictable. This is . . . only way. To be sure who comes back.” “The boys,” I say, tongue and lips going numb. “To be sure the boys will come back.” “Can’t get eager pilots . . . if they’re afraid of their partners . . . every battle.” “You don’t think girls are afraid?” “Girls . . . know how to sacrifice.”
“You won’t be able to change a thing.” A wild leer puppets An Lushan’s face. “Real women know their place. It won’t matter if they learn the truth!”
“You know what I think?” I say. “I think this whole concept of women being docile and obedient is nothing but wishful thinking. Or why would you put so much effort into lying to us? Into crippling our bodies? Into coercing us with made-up morals you claim are sacred? You insecure men, you’re afraid. You can force us into compliance, but, deep down, you know you can’t force us to truly love and respect you. And without love and respect, there will always be a seed of hatred and resistance. Growing. Festering. Waiting.”
If this were any other occasion, I’d be laughing. Perks of refusing to play by the rules: you don’t have to choose between the boy who’d torture a man to death with you and the boy who’d welcome you back with pastries after.
Is this really happening? Is it finally happening? Shimin’s gaze pours over Yizhi’s features, but jumps to me with a flash of guilt. I roll my eyes, make a triangle with my fingers, and nod.
How could I feel a rage like this, and not be able to tear the sky open and scorch the earth?
It’s just a change of seat, yet everything feels different. For a moment, I feel distinctly male, or what it’s supposed to mean to be male. But it doesn’t matter. Male, female, it doesn’t matter when piloting. There’s still no guarantee that I’ll survive this, but I’ve come too far to let fear stop me.
“Wu Zetian,” a medley of voices whispers in my head. Not just Shimin’s, but Big Sister’s as well. And Yizhi’s. And my mother’s. And my grandmother’s. And so, so many nameless girls who have suffered under the lies I must expose. “Be their nightmare.”
I can’t believe I’ve done the one thing I’ve raged at everyone else for doing: underestimating a woman.
Redemption story, they said? There will be no redemption. It is not me who is wrong. It’s everyone else.
This is my admittedly graceless strategy: annihilate every center of power, so everything will collapse into chaos and people will have no choice but to obey the new most powerful thing—me.
“Pilot Wu!” shouts a gravelly voice through what sounds like the palace’s entire speaker system. “It’s Empress Wu!” I roar back, effortlessly louder.
The notification opens to his frantic face. “Zetian, it’s all a lie! Everything’s a lie!” I blink. “I know—” “No, it’s nothing about the pilot system! It’s the planet! This isn’t our planet!” “What . . .?” I breathe. In the yīn seat, Qin Zheng stirs sharply to attention.
