Trans: When Ideology Meets Reality

by Helen Joyce

Facebook group for parents taking the gender-affirmative approach with their children, the importance of the transition-or-death narrative is clear to see. If a newcomer expresses doubts, old hands immediately intervene to say they must affirm their child’s gender to stop them killing themselves. And another thing becomes apparent: some parents go beyond lovingly accepting their ‘trans child’ and actively encourage transition, perhaps to boost their liberal credentials, or because they like being their child’s saviour, or because they enjoy the excitement and attention a trans child brings. In discussions about gender dysphoria, many say their child has never experienced it, but merely announced when just a toddler that they were the opposite sex. Plenty have two or more trans children. One says she has eight children, without a single ‘boring cis child in the whole bunch!’ Such groups function to normalise ideas and behaviour that might otherwise lead parents to doubt the wisdom of the gender-affirmative approach. There are discussions of ‘tucking’ underpants for transgirls, which squash the genitals between the legs, and ‘packers’ for transboys (soft prosthetic penises and testicles that give a crotch bulge). ‘Best boy bump for the little guys’, runs the ad for one; the ‘Bitty Bug’, a tiny crocheted version, is available from Ravelry, a crafting forum. Reading as an outsider, these parents seem to have collectively lost their minds. But they are following the approach re...