You Deserve Each Other

by Sarah Hogle

I have no idea what I’m bringing to our relationship right now aside from the fact that I’m keeping dead Abigail’s frozen eggs at bay.

If he breathes too loudly in his sleep tonight he’ll wake up to a score of negative fifty.

Smirking, I tunnel into my closet and emerge from it in the most glorious anti-Nicholas costume I can find: a Steelers hoodie that belonged to my ex-boyfriend.

They’d have to drag my unconscious body up the aisle, a ventriloquist throwing her voice to mimic my vows.

“We’re not having children,” I declare. “I’m barren. I lost my uterus in a Ponzi scheme.”

“Nicholas, I’m here to support all your dreams. Please, go get a canoe. I’d love nothing more than to watch you paddle out into the middle of a lake.”

I’m struck by the realization that my fiancé and I are becoming friends again.

He gazes down on me. “Say you love me?” he whispers.

This quote genuinely makes me want to turn myself inside out