The Sinner
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I was only twenty-three; I had my whole life to fall in love. But the loneliness that wracked me felt a lot older than twenty-three years.
6%
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A sacred vow. I will not harm you. Not in this life or any other.”
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“Do you believe in second chances, Lucy Dennings? For even the worst sinners? For unthinkable crimes?”
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but bravery, I’d read, wasn’t doing something because you were unafraid. It was being afraid and doing it anyway.
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There is nothing on This Side that I need.” He raised his eyes to mine. “Except you.”
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“Those beautiful words are your substitute for the real thing.”
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Lucy is just as bright and beautiful in this lifetime as she is in every other, but she’s alone. Always so alone. I dare wonder—hope—if somewhere in her soul she mourns me…
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“No matter how many of her lifetimes you skulk about her like a mongrel, you are dead to her. Not even a memory. You know this is true.”
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“I know you believe her happiness is the only redemption you’ll ever know but you will fail. She will hate you before it’s all over.
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“Because you cannot hide your true self from her.”
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“My romantic heart is yearning for something real and every time I meet that man, he’s always just out of reach. He never stays.”
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“And that is what you want, Lucy Dennings? A man who would die for you?”
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“But the intensity of that kind of love, the kind of love where you feel lost without the other person. Where your strengths bolster each other’s weaknesses. Where you grow and are made better by loving them and being loved…
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“If love is the answer, Lucy Dennings, then we’ve lost already.” “Why?” “Because there is no love left in me.”
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“Never apologize for who you are.”
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“In your kindness lies my salvation.”
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“Being seen…someone acknowledging that you exist matters.
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“Grief is not love. Grief is penance for living after love has died.”
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“Your capacity for love is bottomless, Lucy Dennings,”
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“Drawing a man to your light is a worthy cause, Lucy Dennings. Your happiness is a worthy cause. I can think of nothing worthier.”
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There is no love left in me.
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Only a stubborn, lingering hope that she be cared for after I’m gone. That she finally finds the love and happiness that was stolen from her. From us. Because she still has a chance, even if it’s too late for me.
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All the warm words and longing looks from the pub must’ve been my imagination. It was hard to believe he’d stroked my hair or told me my happiness was worth everything. Worth risking his soul…
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“I’m not surprised. You’re one of the strongest women I’ve ever known.”
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“That poem is beautiful. And hopeful. I love the line about how lovers might be lost but love never will be.”
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“She is my wife.”
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A vacancy in her heart where I once lived.
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“I would wait for you until the sun goes black and the stars fall, beloved.”
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A different face in this lifetime but no less beautiful in my eyes.
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I would know my Li’ili in any form; she is the other half of me. I should stop inflicting myself on her, but I can’t. She is my weakness. The sweetest
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“You should’ve stayed. You should love her. Let her love you.”
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Take her in your arms. Dance with her. Hold her and tell her the truth. Stop erasing her damn memory. Stop erasing you from her mind, because no matter how hard you try, you can’t purge yourself from her heart.”
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“Maybe he was right. I just have to love you.”
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“The girl my beautiful prince cannot relinquish.
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I want your happiness more than I want my next breath.
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“To leave you with something more than dreams. Something real.”
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I’ve never fallen out of love with you.”
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“I’ve loved you for a hundred lifetimes, Lucy.
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The sins I’ve committed are not washed away by your sweet tears.”
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“My guardian angel, a demon.”
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“You are my light. My life. I will never love another as I love you.”
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“My beloved. I will love you until the end of time.”
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“Love saved me. Yours. It won’t end with my death. I’ll carry it with me…”
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“No scars,” I said. “They’re gone.” “But one.” He pulled his shirt down, showing the silver dollar scar over his heart. “So that I never forget the gift I’ve been given. You, Lucy. I’m here because of you. You’re my heroine. You saved me.”
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But I vowed to honor every day, every moment, with the love of my life. This life and the next, and every lifetime to come.
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I’ve been reading your romance novels for guidance. I wanted to make my proposal something special. To give you what they call a grand gesture.”
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“Not half as beautiful as you. In body and soul.”
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My beloved. My soulmate, and my happily ever after.
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“We can’t put our lives on hold out of fear.”
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Dreams become memories, become now.   I can kiss you for the first time Again and again