Harlem Shadows (AmazonClassics Edition)

by Claude McKay

dully

OUTCAST For the dim regions whence my fathers came My spirit, bondaged by the body, longs. Words felt, but never heard, my lips would frame; My soul would sing forgotten jungle songs. I would go back to darkness and to peace, But the great western world holds me in fee, And I may never hope for full release While to its alien gods I bend my knee. Something in me is lost, forever lost, Some vital thing has gone out of my heart, And I must walk the way of life a ghost Among the sons of earth, a thing apart; For I was born, far from my native clime, Under the white man’s menace, out of time.

FUTILITY Oh, I have tried to laugh the pain away, Let new flames brush my love-springs like a feather. But the old fever seizes me to-day, As sickness grips a soul in wretched weather. I have given up myself to every urge, With not a care of precious powers spent, Have bared my body to the strangest scourge, To soothe and deaden my heart’s unhealing rent. But you have torn a nerve out of my frame, A gut that no physician can replace, And reft my life of happiness and aim. Oh what new purpose shall I now embrace? What substance hold, what lovely form pursue, When my thought burns through everything to you?

II I do not fear to face the fact and say, How darkly-dull my living hours have grown, My wounded heart sinks heavier than stone, Because I loved you longer than a day! I do not shame to turn myself away From beckoning flowers beautifully blown, To mourn your vivid memory alone In mountain fastnesses austerely gray. The mists will shroud me on the utter height, The salty, brimming waters of my breast Will mingle with the fresh dews of the night To bathe my spirit hankering to rest. But after sleep I’ll wake with greater might, Once more to venture on the eternal quest.