There's No Coming Back from This

by Ann Garvin

“Yeah. It goes to your plan, of course. The IRS won’t wait.” “How do I live?” “I don’t want to be mean, but we’ve been over this. The US Treasury doesn’t care. Once you don’t respond to their warnings—” “Dawna Klump didn’t respond!”

his daughter had to pay his debt, so that didn’t work out very well.”

If you can stay hidden for seven years, the IRS forgives your debt.”

“One more thing. You have up to six months to sell your house. Don’t wait.”

I’d heard the phrase unreliable narrator and recognized my father in the definition.

I’d have to explain that the IRS needed the house.

If you were sleeping when a tornado hit your house, the people on Twitter would blame you for living in a place where tornados can hit your house. If your accountant stole your money, everyone in your book club would agree that you should have been paying better attention. The blame ball, in the game of life, rolled downhill and, as often as not, hit the victim. It was human nature,

“I’m sorry, but I believe we are victims on the same side in this case.” I sputtered, “Victim. The IRS? Give me a . . . Who is this?”

Fired for a no, I don’t want to be a criminal. A no to basically anything. Women learn to be pleasing—often their lives and livelihoods depend on it.

“All arrogant men underestimate women. It’s a thing. I heard the best Cleopatra podcast. She outsmarted the entire Roman army.”

this young girl collecting wisdom the hard way.

After much hydration and time, my paranoia subsided, but I vowed to stay away from the devil’s lettuce forever.

even moved to the floor as if I were the kind of person who would try fitness instead of worry to feel better.

nobody likes a doormat, no matter how much it aims to please.”