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The smile that takes over his face is far too greedy. A smarter woman would run with a man looking at her like this, but all it does is make my stomach drop and my heart race. I realize I trust Stefan.
Absolutely. Are we dating? What do you call this? I laughed. She scowled. I don’t give a fuck what you call it so long as you’re mine.
I’m putting it all on the line for her. Pushing past all my fears about caring too much for another person.
But the look she gave me when I told her she was mine was worth the risk. Over and over again. Worth it. Because she looked at me like I was her prize as much as she is mine. I feel like it’s too soon to be in love.
The women at Gold Rush Ranch are an excellent influence—they don’t take any shit. And that’s the exact type of women Nadia needs in her life. Strong women.
She made me care for her. She wiggled her way into my life. She made me want things I wasn’t sure I’d ever want. And then she turned around and ruined it all with her dishonesty. Letting her go should be simple. A clear-cut choice. An obvious answer. But I feel like I’m sitting here sawing off a perfectly good limb. It hurts. More than I thought it would. More than I knew it could.
don’t think Loki will require regular checkups anymore, so you won’t have to worry about seeing me.” “Perfect,” is my quick response. And I instantly want to take it back. I meant perfect that he’s better, not that I won’t have to see her. That part stings in a way I didn’t expect. A few minutes ago, she asked me to hear her out, and hope welled in her eyes. Now, thanks to me, it’s spilling down her cheeks.
My heart knows how I feel about him. But my head—well, my head is a complicated place to be sometimes. I exist in a world of absolutes and science. But there is nothing absolute about falling in love.
Her hand lands hard and fast across my cheek, forcing my attention to her. “Wake the fuck up! Mira is in there! She hasn’t come out!” She’s screaming now. Distraught.
The lack of action enrages me. I enrage me. I told Mira she only ever does anything to benefit herself. Now she’s in my burning barn. Saving my horses. Saving my sister. And I said that to her. What I should have said to her is that I love her. That I needed some time to lick my wounds. That we would be fine. That I was going to come back. That I’d never felt this way about another person before. That I never wanted to again. The need to tell her overwhelms me. And instinct overtakes all sense. All I know is I need her. I need to tell her I love her.
What if she dies saving everything that she thinks is dear to me without knowing she is everything to me? I love you. I love you. I love you. The guilt eats at me, tearing at my flesh. I feel like I’m being ripped apart piece by piece.
I stare back out over the lake, silently begging my mother for some of her strength. Her strength to endure years of what she did to keep us safe. I need that strength to keep Mira safe. “She’d be proud of you.” My breathing goes raspy.
I’ve always thought Billie was a bit of a loose cannon, but her love is absolute. I love that Mira has friends like this in her corner. I’ve never had anyone like this in my corner. And her challenge is one I’m happy to accept. I nod, never dropping her eye contact.
“Poor sweet fool. That girl was coming back for you. Don’t you know her well enough to know she doesn’t quit? She walked into that barn because that’s the type of person she is. A little prickly, but as loyal as they come once you get her. And don’t worry, you’ve got her. I rather think you’re stuck with her.” Claws rake down the back of my throat. I know she’s trying to make me feel better, but the guilt is still there. Magnified by the longing I feel. I just want to be with her. I want to hold her.
He’s here. I sigh, my lungs burning and chest aching.
“You love so fiercely. Just like I told you. Just like me. I didn’t think twice about walking into that barn.”
“You make me a better man. A happier man. I said it once before, and I meant it: you are mine and I am yours. I will drink whatever ungodly coffee concoctions you bring me. I will worship your body.” His eyes drop to my lips, and even in a hospital bed feeling more roughed up than I ever have, when he looks at me like that, I feel more beautiful than I ever have. “I would walk through fire for you any day. Over and over again.”
This is where I almost lost Mira. This is where I roped her into my arrangement. This is where I spent quiet nights learning Mira. This is where I laid my life on the line to save her. I believe my mom is overlooking this exact spot from where I sprinkled her ashes. This spot is my whole world. This spot is fate. This spot is my future. This is where I’m going to rebuild. Mira and me? We’re like a phoenix, born from the ashes. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
The lips I plan to kiss for the rest of my life. Mine. A better man would have let her out of our arrangement. I am not a better man. And I’ve never felt less sorry about anything in my life.
