The Magic of Lemon Drop Pie

by Rachel Linden

“Turns out we don’t get to decide whether the people we love the most are safe or happy,” I murmured to my younger self. Ten years after I’d written this list, our happy little family was shattered as we lost the linchpin of our lives.

“Lemons brighten every day. They are a touch of kitchen magic, and we all need a little magic in our lives.”

“Life is too short for second-guesses.” She sniffed. “You make the best choice you can, and then you stick with it. I don’t look back.” She gave me a shrewd look. “What about you? Are you regretting your life choices at so tender an age?”

Often we say ‘impossible’ when what we really mean is ‘unknown.’ So many things are possible; far fewer are known to us. You will discover this soon enough.”

“Happiness is fleeting, fickle, often based on our circumstances.” Aunt Gert waved a hand dismissively. “If you chase happiness, you will more often than not end up disappointed by the very nature of life. Life is hard, brutal at times, and often unfair. But following your bliss, that’s entirely different. It means facing your present reality with honesty and courage and, in the midst of it all, continuing to pursue each spark of joy, even if it is a tiny pinpoint in the darkness of your life. Do not give up. Continue to look for the light in your life—it is always present somewhere, some small thing to be grateful for, something to celebrate, a way to give joy to others, a new way to grow. Move toward the light in life; seek it out no matter what. This is the essence of what it means to follow your bliss. You must be honest. Pay attention. Seek joy.”

if I was perfectly honest with myself, I couldn’t imagine a future that was better than the things I had lost. I was held back by the dual pull of responsibility and regret. I could not countenance leaving my family or leaving my responsibilities at the diner.

I was aching to move forward, determined to move forward, but I had no idea how to do so. I was an object at rest, and I desperately needed someone or something to give me a shove in the right direction.

life is not defined by the limits of your own experience. The reality of the universe far transcends the paltry boundaries of your own understanding. As the great Saint Augustine once said, ‘Miracles are not contrary to nature, but only contrary to what we know about nature.’ He was right. Miracle, magic, whatever you want to call these.”

Through heartbreak and sorrow, sacrifice and drudgery, through hope lost and hope regained, I’d learned little by little to be honest. To pay attention. To seek joy. And

my lemon of a life had gradually been transformed into this—the most deliciously sweet, perfectly imperfect second chance I could ever imagine.