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Mabel and I were married for almost sixty years. We were so happy together. You deserve your own happiness, Lolly.”
“See, Lolly,” she’d say. “Lemons brighten every day. They are a touch of kitchen magic, and we all need a little magic in our lives.”
Across the room, over the door to the dining room, hung my mother’s favorite sign. Painted on thin metal whitewashed to look vintage, it read: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. A saying so common it bordered on trite, but one my mother had firmly embraced nonetheless. She was a lemonade sort of woman, approaching every hurdle with a brisk, efficient optimism. If she were here now, I knew what she’d say. “Stop crying over your lemon of a life, Lolly, and start figuring out how to make lemonade.”
“On the contrary, I think we’re the most honest when we’re young,” she replied brusquely. “It’s later in life we get good at lying to ourselves.”
“Life is too short for second-guesses.” She sniffed. “You make the best choice you can, and then you stick with it. I don’t look back.”
“Well, you’re young.” Aunt Gert clapped her hands together briskly. “You still have time. You have so much opportunity still laid out before you despite your present circumstances. You must try, as my dear colleague the esteemed mythology professor Joseph Campbell used to say, to ‘follow your bliss.’
“You must follow your bliss no matter the circumstances life thrusts upon you.”
“Happiness is fleeting, fickle, often based on our circumstances.” Aunt Gert waved a hand dismissively. “If you chase happiness, you will more often than not end up disappointed by the very nature of life. Life is hard, brutal at times, and often unfair. But following your bliss, that’s entirely different. It means facing your present reality with honesty and courage and, in the midst of it all, continuing to pursue each spark of joy, even if it is a tiny pinpoint in the darkness of your life. Do not give up. Continue to look for the light in your life—it is always present somewhere, some
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You can’t stay where you are and expect a change. It’s Newton’s first law of motion. Objects at rest stay at rest. Objects in motion remain in motion.
life is not defined by the limits of your own experience. The reality of the universe far transcends the paltry boundaries of your own understanding.
“We always do.” I nodded and gathered up my papers, frustration churning like an eggbeater in my gut. I was so tired of standing here week after week and having the exact same argument.
“When we make a choice, we necessarily limit all the other choices. Every path narrows our options, every decision closes many other doors. Yet we make a choice hoping we’re trading all the other options for the one that will be the best.”
Together we walked toward her cottage, gravel crunching under our feet and the light beginning to fade into the soft blue of early evening. For a moment I felt happier and more content than I had in a long while. I had no idea what lay ahead, but I knew that whatever it was, I was not alone. I had a best friend who loved and supported me. I still had almost a month to reach at least one of my goals. I had two lemon drops in my pocket to use as I chose. And for the first time in a long time, I was starting to believe that something good was waiting up ahead for me after all.
I learned that sometimes you have to let go. Sometimes it’s the only way forward.
The moment I knew he was gone, I knew life could never be the same, but I didn’t want to admit it. I couldn’t. I was trying so desperately to make it come right.”
You can’t keep holding on to the vision of the future you imagined you’d have, the way you thought things would turn out. You have to let the present be what it is—broken, flawed, painful, but real.”
If you cling so tight to something that’s already broken, to a life and dream that can never come true, you don’t have space in your life for anything else, for the good and real plan Bs.”
nothing is worth holding on to if it’s holding you back.
the thing you’ll learn if you ever have children is that each one is their own person. You can’t superimpose your own vision for their future on them. You have to let them find their own way.”
“I’m scared to let things go,” I confessed. “What if everything falls apart and I can’t make anything good come from the broken pieces?” A moment of silence. “You have to have faith, Lolly. It takes faith and courage to let things fall apart, not knowing what will happen after you do. But you are strong. You can do this. There is more for you, my girl. More life and love and good things, maybe babies if you want them.” She chuckled. “This is not the end for you,” she said simply. “There are good things ahead. Trust me. I’m your mother. I know this is true.”
every cloud has a silver lining. You just have to find it.”
“The rest is history. But it is a history I made with my own grit and determination and more than a few tears.”
