Stoicism for Inner Peace

by Einzelgänger

I want to control the future – which is impossible. Control freaks simply cannot handle insecurity. They are stuck in the dreadful absurdity of trying to figure out what cannot be figured out, and with repetitive attempts they keep trying nonetheless. The Stoic you, however, has a different approach. It fully embraces fate no matter what. Amor fati doesn’t mean that we should sit in an armchair all day letting life pass by. It means that we make the best of every moment as far as fate allows it. It means that we work towards our goals, give them our all, but, when the results turn out to be different than expected, fully embrace and accept our fate.

What people throw in your direction is not up to you. Getting offended, however, is a choice. If we let go of the nastiness that people throw at us, we’ll travel lightly through life, so we can spend our energy on things that truly matter.

Paradoxically, when we focus on living well instead of anxiously clinging to the things that we don’t want to lose, we might even attract more preferred indifferents into our lives and the ones that are already with us are more likely to stick. Being jealous only drives them away.

“Yet what is more savage against them than anger? Mankind is born for mutual assistance, anger for mutual ruin: the former loves society, the latter estrangement. The one loves to do good, the other to do harm; the one to help even strangers, the other to attack even its dearest friends. The one is ready even to sacrifice itself for the good of others, the other to plunge into peril provided it drags others with it.” Lucius Annaeus Seneca, Of Anger, 1.5

If we can cope with death, we can also cope with life. The good news is that everything is in flux, and born out of change, like night and day, fall and spring. All this, too, shall pass. History has shown us that people have endured the hardest of times and that this experience has often made them more humble, more humane, and more grateful for life. Thus, every outcome has its positive side. And, regardless of what the future brings, no one takes away our power to make the best of it.

At some point, we must shift our focus from our fantasies of doom and gloom to the only workspace we have: the present. The present is where the future is made. Only what we can change, right now, is what counts. So, instead of staring at a long, endless road of obstacles, we’re better off compartmentalizing what needs to be done and then focusing on the task at hand.

“Let us become intimate with poverty, so that Fortune may not catch us off our guard. We shall be rich with all the more comfort, if we once learn how far poverty is from being a burden.”