Stoicism for Inner Peace

by Einzelgänger

The Stoics believed that events aren’t inherently good or bad, but that the mind makes them so.

“It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.”

“there’re plenty of fish in the sea.” Although this sounds a bit cheesy, it’s true. With so many people on this planet, it’s insane to think that there’s only one person suited to you. But, this doesn’t solve the problem because, regardless of how many fish there are swimming in the sea, the fish are still something external and beyond our control. There are no guarantees that we can obtain any of these fish, even when there are plenty of them.

I'm a fishless fisherman

Our spouse may very well cheat on us with a co-worker tomorrow. Our supposed best friends may prefer the presence of someone else over us. These possibilities are realistic and common. Worrying about them won’t stop them from happening.

“Remember that you must behave in life as at a dinner party. Is anything brought around to you? Put out your hand and take your share with moderation. Does it pass by you? Don’t stop it. Is it not yet come? Don’t stretch your desire towards it, but wait till it reaches you.”

There is a Buddhist story that challenges the notion of righteous anger. It tells of a young boy with a bad temper. His father was concerned about the angry outbursts of his son. But, instead of fighting anger with anger, he gave the boy a bag of nails and a hammer. He told him to hammer a nail into the fence every time he lost his temper. After the first day, the boy hammered about thirty nails in the fence. But when the days passed, the daily number of nails decreased until the day came that the boy didn’t lose his temper once. He proudly told his father, who gave his son the instruction to pull out a nail every time he was able to suppress his temper. Finally, the day arrived that all the nails were pulled out. The father showed his son the fence and said: “Well done, my son! Now, I want you to look closely at the fence. It’s full of holes, which means that it has been changed forever. When you let anger out, it will leave scars. You can stick a knife in someone and pull it out, but no matter how often you apologize, the scar will be there forever.”

Now, this is a tricky one – at least, the method that Seneca proposes. Seneca argues that the mind needs relaxation from time to time, and recommends washing away our sorrows and setting them free by the consumption of wine. Now, it’s common knowledge that alcohol does a great job of temporarily making us happier and drowning our sorrows.

My dad is god's most relaxed stoic

when death smiles at us no matter where we go, is there a better response than to smile back?