And as difficult as that admission was to make, even to himself, it still didn’t get at the half of it, the really shameful half. Something more alluring than sleep, only something of a pathological compulsion, could truly explain the…oh, Christ, the burden, the fucking back-borne monkey that pounded its fists and shrieked bloody murder in his ear day and night, making a complete fucking shambles of the facade of Scholar/Father/Full-time-Jobber. On nights he wasn’t bleeding tears by ten fifteen, he was pulling his pecker out of his pants! He was giving it a yank before his brain exploded with
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