My Policeman

by Bethan Roberts

it most often comes in the night, when I’m trying to sleep. Lying still in my bed, I swear I can see it, this lump of muscle jumping in my chest. Langland says it’s perfectly normal. Or, if not normal, then usual. An ectopic heartbeat, he calls it. Surprisingly common, he says. Sometimes the beat is the wrong way round, and that makes you aware of your heart thumping. He demonstrated: “Instead of going de-DUM,” (he slapped his hand on the desk) “it goes DUM-de. Nothing to worry about.”

just like me!

Stripped out of my wet clothes. Got into bed wearing the pajamas I hate.

he hates them.

pine talc.

they're both noticing the same things

“Can you share?” “Share?” “Can you share me?” I felt him harden, and I nodded. “If that’s what it takes. Yes. I can share.” And then I was on my knees before him.

“He’s homosexual, isn’t he?”

so is your husband.

“then I’m wrong, too.”

I knew it.

A Friend

Marion.