Tellingly, none of the adventure stories Byron had ever read mentioned just how messy the adventuring business was. The hero never swept up the broken glass or mended the curtains after a brawl. No, duty called! The Sphinx’s footman suspected the hero’s true quest was to be on the road before the brooms came out. Byron liked to imagine that if every knight, soldier of fortune, and buccaneer were forced to scrub blood from a single area rug, that the tedious, unpleasant experience would usher in an era of peace. Let the generals mop up the battlefield for a change, then see how long they’d go
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