The Jock (The Team, #1)

by Tal Bauer

“Yeah. Yeah, we met over the summer. In Paris.”

Now he was lying to Colton, hiding the biggest parts and pieces of himself. Hiding the most important person in his world.

It is serious, Colton, he wanted to say. It’s the rest of my life. Justin is everything I ever wanted.

He was one man, with one heart—and that heart belonged to Justin, while the world wanted it to belong to football. But it didn’t, and he couldn’t force it. He didn’t want to. He just wanted to love Justin.

“Do you have plans later tonight?” Wes asked, almost shy. “Wes, you’re my plans. You’re my boyfriend. I don’t do anything without you. I don’t want to do anything without you.”

I. Love. Them.

Candles were the first things he saw. A dozen tea lights scattered on the laminate dresser. The flickering glow reminded him of Paris, of the Eiffel Tower, of their first kiss.

White rose petals carpeted the bed. A bundle of lavender and baby’s breath, the biggest Justin had ever seen, rested on the pillow, tied with twine, like the little bundle of buds Wes had bought him in Paris.

Wes pulled a single red rose from behind his back. He twirled it in his fingers and smiled. “Tu es mon plus grand amour.” You are the love of my life.

They are killing me

the rest of the offense—Colton, Orlando, Art, Devin, Quinton, Josh, Patrick, Austin, and Cesar—wandered

I ain't gonna remember all that

How did Justin end up with so many damn hands when he was tipsy?

He wanted to hold Justin’s hand as they walked to class. He wanted to carry Justin’s backpack and his books. Take him out on real dates, not just to drive-throughs and parking lots where they could sneak a make-out session.

“This is a bad idea,” Wes whispered. “I know.” “I won’t want to leave.” “Then don’t.” Justin ran his thumbs down Wes’s cheekbones. Nibbled on his chin. “Stay tonight.”

What do you credit your incredible success to over the years, and what has changed this year in particular?” Justin. I play my heart and soul out for him.

All I want to do is take your hand in the middle of campus. Kiss you before a game, like the guys do with their girlfriends. I want to give you a family ticket and have you sit with the rest of the VIPs.”

“Do we need to take it slower? Maybe cool down for a bit?” Wes grabbed his hand, squeezed so hard Justin flinched. “No, please. Anything but that.” “I didn’t mean take a break, or break up. I just meant maybe cool off how much we see each other—” “Seeing you is the only thing that’s keeping me together.”

Wes and I are the same level of needy

“I don’t feel like I do enough for you. You come to my games, and I take you to parking lots in the middle of nowhere.” “But I love that.” He cupped Wes’s jaw. Felt his muscles trembling. “Hey. I do. I love watching you play, and I love when we do this, or when it’s just you and me sitting on the hood of your car eating Wendy’s. I love everything we do together.”

I tell myself, what’s two years when we have forever together?” Finally, Wes smiled, so big and wide Justin felt Wes’s dimples form beneath his palm. “Yeah. Forever sounds pretty good.”

“I’d rather be here with you, working, than up in Dallas without you, moping around.”

I’ve gotten closer with my dad these past few months. I want to see him. But when I do, I want to have you with me.”

Everything you’ve done, all year long, has been for someone other than you. For me, for them, for the fans.

FOR THE FANS?!

“Oh, cowboy, are you going to carry me to bed?” “Of course.” He grinned. “Gotta practice, you know?” “Practice?” “To carry you over the threshold the day I marry you.”

SO SMOOTH WITH IT, WES

Friday morning, their perfect world imploded.

Oh... Bruh...

A Cowboy in Paris: The Secret Life of Wes Van de Hoek By SportsWorld Staff Writer Geoff Brady

Get fucked, Geoff

This photo was snapped in June, when a vacationing family took a picture of a street mime. Did you catch the guy in the background? The one in the cowboy hat? Holding the hand of the guy next to him? That’s Wes Van de Hoek, holding hands with his boyfriend, right in the center of Paris.

Dude. DUDE. What the fuck. What the ACTUAL FUCK. You’ve been lying to me for years! You’ve been lying to us!

Get fucked, Colton

He passed janitors and groundskeepers, security guards, university police. Every one of them stared at him like he was suddenly completely different from the man they’d high-fived and laughed with the day before.

He dug down inside himself, to the same place where he’d grabbed the courage to kiss Justin for the first time, the same place he’d reached for when he told Justin’s retreating back that he loved him, that he’d always love him, and that he’d made a terrible mistake. He touched that space inside himself, the part of his soul that belonged to Justin, and pulled open the locker room door.

Every one of the guys Wes had played with for three years turned their backs on him as he dropped his gear at his locker and started to change.

This is so fucked. When will this be a world where being gay doesn't fucking matter anymore

“You knew you were gay freshman year?” “I’ve known I was gay since I was nine.”

Was his mouth that fucking good? Did his blow jobs rock your world that much—” He didn’t remember moving. He didn’t remember pulling back his fist or letting it fly. He blinked, and Colton was on the ground, holding his jaw, glaring up at Wes with shock in his eyes.

Good.

It looks like there’s going to be an investigation. No one really understands what you’ve done. Did you misrepresent yourself? Make false statements? Cause the university to earn more money than they would have if you’d been out? There’s going to be an inquiry into your life. Into the choices you made and didn’t make.”

What the actual fuck

The captains of the other team only shook Colton’s hand. They left Wes hanging, his hand in the air, as if he didn’t even exist.

“Are you sure—” “Don’t even finish that question. Don’t you dare ask me if I’m sure I want to be with you. Nothing has changed how much I love you.”

Better me than Justin. Better me than him. He bellowed as the five men charged him in the middle of the highway.

Oh, my baby

A John Doe transfer from Blanco County. Hit and run. Pedestrian versus vehicle.” “Ouch.” “Yeah. Trucker called it in to the state police. Found him lying in the middle of the highway.”

“I’m on my way. I’m driving down. Right now.”

HELL YEAH JUSTIN'S DAD

Someone had wrapped a belt around his neck and tried to strangle him.

He’d made the five-hour drive from Dallas in just over three hours in his Porsche, had flown into the hospital and wrapped Justin in his arms like he was four years old and he’d fallen off his bike.

<333

Life wasn’t lived with the benefit of hindsight.

“I’m Nick Swanscott! Justin’s dad! Wes’s boyfriend. I’m his fucking father!”

Nick Swanscott, I am so in love with you

“Are any of you the reason why my son is crying over Wes’s unconscious body right now?”

Nick threw Wes’s clothes into Wes’s old duffel, sweeping his laptop and his textbooks and the few odds and ends on his nightstand into the ratty bag. “What are you doing?” “Moving Wes out. He obviously can’t stay here anymore.”

Didn’t Wes know Colton would’ve been there for him? If any motherfucker had ever said a fucking thing to him, Colton would’ve been the first one to beat their face in. The whole campus, the whole world, would have known, Colton Hall was there for Wes Van de Hoek.

You didn’t work for years to synchronize your existence with someone only to rip them out of your life in a single moment.

There was never a choice between Wes and the Riviera, or the Alps, or Vienna.

Wes had kissed him beneath the Eiffel Tower, and there went the rest of his life.

“I can’t pinpoint when I fell in love with you,” he whispered. His fingers traced Wes’s heart, over his chest and down his side, then up his arm before starting the circuit again. “It was just there one day, inside me. I didn’t want to be without you. And then I couldn’t be without you. That’s when I knew you were the love of my life. You’d become a part of me, and my life was incomplete without you.”

Stubble grazed his forehead. Lips ghosted over his hair. “Tu es mon plus grand amour…”

“You can’t hide how in love you are.” Colton looked like he was going to be sick. “And you shouldn’t fucking have to. Damn it, no one cares that you’re gay. No one.”

The team’s heart and soul had shattered when Wes and Colton did. If there was going to be a way forward, it had to start between them.