NL: People fall into the trap of seeing romantic love as the answer to their problems. How does that misunderstanding make the search for a relationship more difficult? AdB: It suggests that if the search for a partner didn’t work out then it would be a tragedy, that your life would essentially have been wasted. That sets up a frantic, unhelpful backdrop to the search for love. The best frame of mind to be in – for anything you want – is an ability to walk away from it, were it not to come right. Otherwise you put yourself at the mercy of chance and people abusing your desperation. So the
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