The Echo Chamber

by John Boyne

‘Social media gives legions of idiots the right to speak when they once only spoke at a bar after a glass of wine, without harming the community. Then they were quickly silenced, but now they have the same right to speak as a Nobel Prize winner. It’s the invasion of the idiots.’ UMBERTO ECO

‘I think I might make a brilliant poet,’ she said. ‘I live like a poet, don’t you think?’ ‘Only in the sense that you contribute nothing to society,’ replied George.

The two men took a seat opposite each other, manspreading with such ferocity that a sturdy bridge could have been constructed between their crotches.

‘But you have to appreciate that we’re not talking about normal people here. We’re talking about people on Twitter. There’s an enormous difference. It’s like comparing house cats to lions that have only ever lived in the wild, ripping the heads off young gazelles and feasting on their bodies.’

‘You call that peaceful?’ snapped George. ‘They’re about as peaceful as a recently divorced couple taking a holiday together in the Gaza Strip.

‘You’re very cocky for such an inexperienced young woman,’ said Beverley. ‘I don’t approve of confidence in an employee. It gives them notions.’

‘People?’ he shouted, spitting the word out as he drank half his beer in one go. ‘They’re not people. They’re thugs! Miscreants! Scoundrels! Villains! Reprobates! Lowlifes!’ ‘That’s just a list of synonyms, darling.’ ‘Oh, fuck off, Denise.’ ‘I’m only trying to help,’ she said.